Sorry Everyone

I know I have legions of fans who tune in regularly to see what kind of witty banter I'm going to throw out there for you. But lately I've been slacking.

Without going into all the details, my father has cancer, and has for some time. He was hospitalized a week and a half ago and is thankfully home now, but there are still a lot of things to deal with.

So, having said that, I can't promise frequent posts right now. I'll do my best to come up with something to write about, but there's just a ton of stuff going on right now. Thanks for understanding.

P.

I Don't Like Karaoke

But I enjoy the hell out of singing my fool head off in the living room.

It's a talent I don't like to admit I have, but I can, in fact, carry a tune. I was in a band for awhile and sang some back-up. I'm not about to try out for American Idol - I would liken being a contestant on AI to being out for a romantic evening with Bea Arthur. I might not be Taylor Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is, but I'm not William Hung either. (Although I can do a wicked impression of him singing "She Bangs" - another talent I'm not sure I should be admitting).

Anyhow, the point is, I've been enjoying my Saturday off by torturing the dog in the living room with my guitar playing and singing. I'm all about cranking up the stereo and playing along. I could literally waste hours doing that, but I have to remind myself that the house won't clean itself (much to my chagrin). So I played for around an hour or so and found some great stuff on my iPod to entertain myself (and Jake) with.

Since I know everyone is dying to know (yeah, right) what's on the Hi-Fi at Casa de P., here's the short list:

1. Staind - "Right Here" - I don't care how many times I hear it or play it, it's one of the coolest songs I've heard in a long time
2. Everclear - "Song From An American Movie Pt. 2" - never heard it on the radio, probably never will, but it's a great song nonetheless
3. Goo Goo Dolls - "Dizzy" - just a really fun song to play
4. Crowded House - "Better Be Home Soon" - definitely from the "oldie but a goodie" category. One of their absolute best.
5. Remy Zero - "Prophecy" - another really fun one to play
6. Switchfoot - "We Are One Tonight" - it's catchy and fun
7. Coldplay - "Shiver" - the version from "Live 2003" kicks ass

I Shouldn't Find This Funny

Well, actually, it's not so much the event that I find funny (because it really isn't), but I think the statement regarding it is pretty damn hilarious.

I just read an article about some Sloth bears in a zoo in the Netherlands who chased down a Barbary macaque (a large monkey), attacked it and ate it in front of horrified zoo visitors. Apparently those animals have shared the same enclosure at the zoo for quite some time. Yeah, splendid idea guys. I guess it never occurred to anyone that bears attack smaller animals and eat them, huh? But I found the remark made by a zoo official to be kind of funny:

"In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."

Really? The harmony was "temporarily disturbed," huh? They coexisted peacefully until the monkey tried to stiff them on a bet and the bears had to teach him a lesson. I suppose the harmony was quickly restored when the other animals and zoo visitors burst into an impromptu version of Cumbaya. And all was well and good once again. But just to be on the safe side, the surviving monkeys were moved to a different enclosure where their harmonious existence wouldn't be threatened.

In a related story, the National Zoo here in Washington has decided to cancel its plans to have Tai-Shan the panda share its enclosure with a Komodo Dragon.

My Weekend in Review

Saturday night I, along with a good friend from work, went downtown to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial for the annual candlelight vigil. For anyone that's never been to it, it's a very hard experience to describe, but I'll do my best.

At 8PM the ceremony begins at the memorial. Plenty of guest speakers (the Attorney General of the United States is almost always one of them - this year was no exception), and people singing inspirational songs and all the formality that goes along with that kind of event. Thousands of police officers from all over the country (including some from Canada, Australia and the UK) raising candles to salute those who have fallen. It is a very moving experience every time I go there. I took some pictures which I'll try to post sometime soon.

But after the formal ceremony has ended, picture one gigantic happy hour that consumes about a half a city block. After we've all paid our respects at the memorial wall, we walk a couple blocks down "H" St. to an area that's been fenced off and set up as a big ol' beer garden. Music, food from the largest grill I've ever seen, and plenty o' suds to keep the crowd happy. Oh, and I can't forget about the drummers and bagpipes - VERY cool indeed. "We have a piper who's down....don't worry, he's just pissed."

This year I told myself that I wasn't going to stay out too late since I had to get up early this morning and drive out to my parents' house for Mother's Day brunch. Do I listen to myself, though? Of course not. I ran into some people I knew whilst toasting the bagpipers and we all decided to hit the pub after the beer tent stopped selling for the night. (Honestly, last call at 11:30 is just wrong!). So we walked down (staggered a bit) a few blocks to my favorite watering hole in the city - Fado. I should own stock in that place. Have a few pints in there, wander around the corner for some late-night Chinese, then it's into the Metro station just in time to catch the last train out of the city. Fortunately for me I live within walking distance of a Metro rail station so I have the luxury of heading downtown, enjoying some nightlife and getting my sorry ass home without having to be concerned about DUIs and such.

Anyhow, since I was out way too late doing my best Tipsy McStagger impression, I didn't get to bed until around 4AM. But I still managed (somehow) to get up on time and make it out to Mom's for brunch. I even remembered the card and flowers! Damn, I'm a good son sometimes. Saturday night I was reminded why I love doing what I do for a living and Sunday morning I was reminded why I have one of the coolest mom's on the planet (that tasty brunch really hit the spot!).

Cleanliness Rocks!

I decided to take a few hours out of my day to give the ol' hacienda a good cleaning. Sadly, this place won't clean itself and I'm not independently wealthy enough to afford maid service. So I gotta do what I gotta do. I refuse to live like some effin' slob. A female friend of mine once described me as the cleanest straight guy she knows. Thanks? Not sure what to make of that remark, actually. And of course, today as I'm cleaning, I didn't hear the phone over the vacuum cleaner. When I realized I'd missed a call, I promptly returned it. It was my friend/co-worker, Brian.

Brian: "Where were you? Why didn't you answer the phone?" (he called all of three minutes earlier).
Me: "Sorry man, I was running the vacuum cleaner."
Brian: "You're such a domestic bitch. You're gonna make someone a good wife one day."
Me: "Fuck you, Otis (one of his ridiculous nicknames). What do you want?"

The point here isn't so much how clean my house is, how much shit my friends give me or how heterosexual I happen to be. It's that I managed to crank out some great tunes from my library that I hadn't heard in awhile. I enjoy rediscovering old favorites. Heard some great stuff from the Smithereens ("Kiss Your Tears Away" will always be one of the coolest songs on the planet), Soul Asylum, Crowded House, Michael Penn, and Everclear - just to name a few.

So now my place is all cleaned up, the music is still cranking out and I'm in a pretty damn good mood. I think it's a good time to break out one (or more) of the guitars and have some fun. Playing rock star in my living room is good fun. All I need to do now is teach Jake - my roadie-dog - how to get groupies.

I'm Not Nearly That Important

Technically, I've been on leave from work since 5PM yesterday afternoon. I put in for a much-needed break and I won't be going back to work until next Wednesday.

Since I left work yesterday afternoon, I've received 4 phone calls from work. All of them started off with "Uh, I know you're on vacation, but...."

In some ways, it's nice to know I'm needed around the office. It's good to have that kind of job security. But I refuse to think that the place will be taking a nose-dive into hell while I'm gone. Being the helpful guy that I am, I answered the questions that were thrown my way. Then I promptly turned off my cell phone (which is something I haven't done in a long time). I figure that if it's really that important, they'll have to look up my home # (almost everyone calls my cell phone). If someone at work really needs to ask me a question, I'm going to make them work for it!

Now I'm going to get back to enjoying my day off. I have a whole bunch of nothing planned, so I'd better get to it.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who left nice remarks and sent e-mails about my last post. I, and everyone else in my line of work, appreciate those thoughts.

Solidarity

Normally, I try to throw some humor in what I write here. Sorry to disappoint everyone today, but this isn't going to be very funny.

Yesterday afternoon three police officers were shot outside of a Fairfax County (VA) police station - not far from here. Sadly, a 40 year old detective, a mother of two, was killed.

I don't know this officer. Never met her. But she was "one of us." And I, along with thousands of other police officers in the region (if not the country) will mourn her loss. I have a "mourning band" (an elastic black band) which I will slide over my badge today and wear in her honor.

Coincidentally, National Police Officer Memorial Day is coming up on Monday, the 15th. For those of you who have never heard of it, President Kennedy proclaimed May 15th as a day for remembering fallen police officers. The National Law Enforcement Memorial is in Washington, DC (take the Metro to Judiciary Square and it's at the top of the escalator). Every year names are added to the wall there to honor those killed in the line of duty. It's a very powerful thing to see, especially this time of year. I will go there next week and see all the flowers, teddy bears, and notes from children placed on the wall next to the names of their loved ones who are gone.
Too many names are being added to that wall this year. And next year the Fairfax officer will have her name placed on it.

Yesterday afternoon an officer, wife and mother lost her life because an 18 year old fuckwad, who was arrested last month for committing a carjacking, apparently sought some kind of revenge on the police. Revenge is something you seek when you've been wronged, not caught. And although I'm glad that he was also killed in the gunfire, that doesn't make me the least bit happy about what happened.

I'm writing this for a reason. Not to solicit thanks for what I do for a living or anything like that. What I want anyone who reads this to think about is this:

At some point you'll hear (or have probably already heard) someone say something about the "fucking police" giving them a ticket or something. Yeah, we write tickets, but we also risk dying in an effort to protect people we don't even know - people like you. So when someone starts talking trash about us because they screwed up and got caught, you tell them to go fuck themselves, pay the fine, and be glad we're around.

Life Does Imitate Art

Or at least it does tonight.

I was watching a favorite movie of mine today (or at least part of it before I had to go to work) - Sideways. Damn good film and I think Paul Giamatti really does a hell of a job (he's come a long way since his role as "Pig Vomit" in Howard Stern's "Private Parts").

The only problem with watching that film is that it always, and I mean ALWAYS makes me thirsty. So although I only caught about 20 minutes of the movie today, it inspired me to go buy some more wine. You can never have too much of that around, I think.

So now I'm back home, work day is (finally) over. Once I got in the front door and let Jake outside, I couldn't open up a bottle fast enough. (wow, that makes me sound like a drunk, doesn't it?). I have a pretty tasty bottle of Shiraz to enjoy, great music playing loud on the stereo and some great Chinese take-out. It's nice that I don't have to work tomorrow so I can sit here, enjoy my take-out and polish of this bottle of wine (yeah, that part made me sound like a drunk). Cheers!

Another Round of....

....Magnificence!

Since I'm such a good sport, I'm going to bang out another five things that I think are magnificent about me. I'm trying really hard to find some balance here. I want to list things that I like about myself without having it come across like "dig me, I'm so friggin' cool," (which I am, but I just can't come right out and say it - that would be wrong). Here goes:

1. I have good manners - I know how to say "please" and "thank you"
2. I have exceptional taste when it comes to beer and coffee (does this really count? well, to me it does)
3. I don't look at subordinates at work as being "beneath me." They are my equals that need my help and decision making skills sometimes
4. I'm fair. I make efforts to see and understand other people's points - even if I don't exactly agree with them, I won't simply dismiss them as being "wrong"
5. If I earn someone's trust, I take it seriously

Yeah, this "List o' Five" doesn't get any easier as I go along. It took me about 20 minutes to come up with that stuff. I'm afraid that the Magnificent Well might be running a little dry. We'll see if/what I can come up with tomorrow.

Hmmmm.....

I was looking over a friend's blog today and saw that she'd issued a challenge to her readers to come up with a list of 5 "magnificent" things about themselves each day for the first week of this month. Of course, I'm willing to give it a shot, but I don't always post here on a daily basis, so I offer up no guarantees that I'll be able to have something every day. Hell, I'm already starting a day late so I've already got it screwed up! I'm not sure how "magnificent" (which, by the way, is not exactly my favorite adjective - along with "splendid") any of this stuff is, but here goes:

1. I have a wicked, yet sometimes dry, sense of humor
2. I'm very musical - not only do I have a TON to listen to, I can play a lot on my guitars
3. I'm exceptionally tall (hey, I like that about me)
4. I not only do not have a criminal record, I have a great career in law enforcement (that should count as two things, but they're kind of related to one another so I'll only count it as one)
5. Although I don't have a college degree, I consider myself to be pretty smart/educated

Coincidentally, this is a lot of the same stuff I'd write down if I were placing an online personal ad. So do you think if I wrote the same shit out on eharmony.com that Dr. Neil Clark Warren (who strikes me as being VERY creepy) would think I'm magnificent, too?