Protect & Smirk

I'm Done For Awhile

2007-12-20T11:22:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry to those who check here with any frequency looking for new posts. I just don't have it in me these days.

A few years ago my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer. He had been getting treatments and even had a surgery last year in an effort to fight it. After last year's procedure it looked like things were going well. Hell, he was out on the golf course quite a bit this past spring/summer. A few weeks ago his condition took a very bad turn as we found out his cancer had become very aggressive and had spread. My Dad died last week. It's been a difficult thing for me to deal with.

On top of that, I've been diagnosed with a medical condition which will require me to visit a neurologist in about an hour.

With everything that has been going on, and will be going on, I don't think that I'll be able to keep up with posting here. Maybe someday I'll resurrect it, but I just don't know.

Thanks to everyone (Lisa and Kim) that have been supportive. I really do appreciate it.

Happy Holidays to everyone.

P.

"Waited For The Day When, You Came Out From Beneath All That Weight...

2007-10-29T14:43:00.000-04:00

...I tried to lift it, but it seems I got there too late."

- from Buffalo Tom's "I'm Allowed." Very good, very underrated, and slightly old (10+ years ago) song.

So I managed to make it though my weekend from hell. This was my day shift weekend. I know everyone's heard me bitching before about how much I don't like working the day shift. Yeah, nothing's changed. I still dread getting up at 3:30 in the morning to go to work. Three days in a row of it damn near kills me. But I've only got to do it again on Wednesday and Thursday and then I get a break from it for a few weeks. Now I'm enjoying a couple nice days off with little to do (well, except for tonight when I'm working an off-duty security gig for a few hours). I'll probably spend the better part of tomorrow getting things cleaned up around the house. It's amazing how quickly this place seems to fall into shambles. You think Murphy would lift a paw or two to help out, but noooooooooo. Thanks buddy. Good looking out.

Lisa, I'm right there with you. I was at the home opener when the Caps blanked the Hurricanes and then it started to go downhill. Some sloppy play going on, and I'm not digging it. But, if they have to play shitty, I'd rather they just go ahead and get it out of their systems now and have their acts together by the end of the year. Blow a couple games early on in the season and go on a tear. That would work for me. Of course, if we were working with a roster that was 100%, that might help. Between Semin being out in the begining, then Poti, now Clark. Ugh. I'm hoping that Clark won't be out too long, but that was a vicious one-timer he took to the melon. If I were on the receiving end of an AO slap shot, I'd probably be six feet under right about now. So, anyway, get it together guys.

I'm really not sure when the next game I'm going to is. I might look into going to the Caps/Flyers game on the 2nd. I'm off work that day, so I might be able to drag myself down there.

OK, I have a vote in favor of me launching "protectandsmirk.com." I'll continue to look into how/when that might happen. Right now, I think I'll geek around with the software I've got here on my Mac that's supposed to be good for building web pages and see what it looks like. If I think I can put something halfway decent together, I'll go for it. But I don't want to do anything half-assed. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to do things full-on-assed.

That's it for today kids. I need to go grab a quick lunch and play with Murphy for a bit to wear his wound-up ass down. See you on the flip side.

"Something's In The Air Tonight...

2007-10-23T04:12:00.000-04:00

....the sky's alive with a burning light. You can mark my words, somthing's 'bout to break."

From Mat Kearney's "Nothing Left To Lose"

I think I may have set a new record. And one that I'm not particularly proud of. Not only have I not posted in almost 2 months, but I haven't so much as looked at this, or any other blog that I used to with any degree of frequency.

Wow, what the hell have I been doing with my time? Well, a few things actually. First, I resolved that I didn't want to spend the kind of time behind that computer that I had been. Nothing makes my ass grow wide like sitting here for hours, slugging back coffee and whatever kind of snack I can muster. So my time in at the computer isn't what it used to be. And my ass looks great, thanks. Second, I've been toying around with the idea of getting away from this blogspot nonsense and actually establishing my own joint, a la protectandsmirk.com. I had already been inspired to have my own site by others I know that maintain their blogs on their own space (winks at Lisa). And speaking of Lisa, I just looked at your site for the first time in awhile, and I have to tell you that I totally dig the new look. Very bad ass, my friend. In addition to the computer-related nonsense, I've just been working a lot. I want to buy a house and since property here in Montgomery County is ridiculously expensive, I need to get some more greenbacks together.

Anyhow, I don't know if I'm going to go through with making up my own website, but the idea isn't totally dead in the water. I'm tinkering around with some things on my new Mac here (which, BTW, is excellent for that kind of thing), and I'll see what I might be able to work up.

Switching gears, what's going on with my Capitals? I went to the home opener and had a great time watching the Hurricanes get shut out. They were playing great in the first three games, then something went horribly, horribly wrong. Snap out of the funk, guys. And that's all I'm going to say on that topic.

This past Friday marked the six month anniversary of when I brought Murphy home. It's only been 6 months? Wow, it feels like I've had him forever. He's simply the coolest. We're gearing up for his third birthday next month. I guess I can let him celebrate his doggie milestone with a sip of lager. Since, you know, a 3 year old dog = a 21 year old human. Actually, I'll have the lager for him. If you saw him drink, you'd understand. I love you buddy, but would it kill you to get at least 50% of the liquid in your mouth instead of 80% of it on the floor?

Well, that will be it for today folks. It's around 4:30 AM and I'm heading back to bed for awhile. I don't know what possessed me to get up in the middle of the night to begin with, but at least I seized the opportunity to write a little sumthin' sumthin' on this thing.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't say "Nice Job!" to Hockey Kim for her standing in on Lisa's blog. Well done, amigo.

"I'm Not A Savior, So Do Me A Favor...."

2007-08-26T19:55:00.000-04:00

"..... stop in and see me sometime." - From "Beautiful Ways" by the Pat McGee Band.

I chose this song lyric because I just saw PMB in Dewey Beach this past Friday. What an incredible show. I can't say enough good things about that band. You have to check them out. iTunes users can find a great live album available. Highly recommended.

Anyway, muchos gracias to Kim and Lisa for their swell comments. I'll keep this thing on life support a bit longer and see if it pulls through.

I created a page for my good buddy Murphy on dogster.com. The link is on the sidebar. Just click on his wonderful picture and you'll go to his little corner of the internet. It's so strange to me to think that I've only had him for 4 months now. Seems like I've had him forever. No disrespect to other dog owners out there, but I really have the coolest dog in the world.

I start my day shift rotation tomorrow. Ugh. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but allow me to reiterate. I HATE day shift. I'm not that much of a morning person, and waking up at 3:30 AM to be at work by 5 just sucks. Fortunately, I only have to do it 7 days out of the month, so I guess it could be worse. But those who know me know that I prefer to keep vampire hours.

Well, this post is going to be brief since I need to get a few more things down around the hacienda before I throw myself into bed at an ungodly early hour.

Again, thanks for the words of encouragement folks, and I'll see what I can do to keep things lively around here.

"Due To Lack of Interest, Tomorrow is Cancelled....."

2007-08-17T13:05:00.000-04:00

"....let the clocks be reset, and the pendulums held." - from the Kaiser Chiefs' "Ruby."

I will be the first one to admit that, as bloggers go, I suck. It's been, what, a month, since my last post? Probably longer. There are times when I really wish that I had the discipline to sit down here every day and write something. Problem is, I don't always have anything terribly interesting to say. Or, at least I don't think I do.

Anyway, here's another round, of brining things up to speed.

I did have some things going on recently which would've prohibited me from really doing much in the way of regular updates here. I decided around a week or so ago that I was going to revert back to my roots. I bought a new iMac last week. The first computer I ever bought myself (eons ago, it seems) was an Apple. I loved it. Reliable, easy to use, etc. But, back in the 90's, I ran into the same glitch that many other people did. File compatibility just wasn't there. So many people were Windows users and when someone would hand me a disk with a Windows-based file on it, I was screwed. Unless I bought (what, at the time was) an expensive software package, my Mac couldn't open any of those files. So I was, more or less, forced to switch to a Windows machine. Well, these days, that just isn't the case. I can plug in flash drives that contain MS Word files and I can open and edit them very easily on my new Mac. And it didn't require a ton of extra, expensive software. Dig it. Plus, the switch made sense since I have an iPod and an iPhone which get used on a VERY regular basis. It is true what they say, Macs are much easier.

So I spent several days working on the file migration from my Dell to my Mac. Having a few thousand songs, plus photos, plus video, plus other files can take awhile to get from Point A to Point B. But I got everything I need right here in front of me on this smokin' new machine. It took me a few days to get reacquainted with the Mac OS. My computer obviously came with the newest version, OS X. I think when I had a Mac before, it was OS 7.2 or something like that. So it's a bit different from what I remember, but very cool nonetheless.

Went up to Frederick. MD a couple nights ago to see a triple bill of Collective Soul, Live and Counting Crows. What a good show. The weather was awesome, the beer was cold and the music kicked ass. Next week I'll be in Dewey Beach, DE to see the Pat McGee Band play. It's been about a year since I've seen them and it's always a good show. And, of course, I'll be at the beach, so it's win/win.

So here's a big, fat, "I'm Sorry" to anyone who has been checking in here with any frequency, looking for new material. I wish I could do better than I do. Maybe I sell myself short as a writer, but I don't always feel like I've got much to say. If I go another month like this without posting anything, I think I'm just gonna shut this thing down. We'll see how it goes.

"I Ain't Wasting No More Time on What You Did, Or What You Didn't"

2007-07-09T13:35:00.000-04:00

Today's song lyric comes from Emerson Hart's "If You're Gonna Leave." Most people don't recognize his name, but this guy has been making incredible music for years. Emerson is the former frontman for the band Tonic, who, of course, made the uber-rock song "If You Could Only See" in mid-90's. If you only know Tonic from that song, do yourself a favor and pick up some CD's. "Lemon Parade," which contains the aforementioned track, is an amazing record. Their follow-up, "Sugar," is kick ass. The title song is one of the best songs I've ever heard, along with "Waltz With Me." Their third, "Head On Straight," was Grammy-nominated for the song "Take Me As I Am," which, again, is incredible. I've seen Tonic play live once, around 12 years or so ago, and it was amazing. I'm looking forward to seeing Emerson tour behind his new record.

Speaking of music, I have a couple concerts lined up over the next couple of months. A triple-bill of Counting Crows, Collective Soul and Live will be playing up in Frederick next month. I'm looking forward to that. I've seen Counting Crows and Live before and they put on a good show. My old band used to cover a Collective Soul song (come to think of it, we covered songs from all of those bands), so I know I'll have a good time. Late next month it's the Pat McGee Band playing at the Bottle & Cork in Dewey Beach, DE. I haven't been out that way in awhile and I'm missing it. The Bottle & Cork is a cool place to see a band play live, and the Pat McGee Band just rocks. I can't wait.

In addition to the music stuff coming up, I also have a comedy show coming up on the 18th, which promises to be a great time. Frank Caliendo at the DC Improv. If you don't know who Frank is, you're missing out. He does an ass-load of impressions and he does them all VERY well. He's the only guy I know who can imitate John Madden and then go right into Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Rome and Scooby Doo. Usually, after the shows at the Improv, you can meet the comedians in the lobby to get autographs, etc. I'm looking forward to meeting Frank.

So it seems I have some cool stuff coming up, but not really much happening now. I just finished working the weekend and I'm enjoying a day off. I have a court appearance tomorrow morning, then I work again on Wednesday and Thursday. I'm looking forward to having this weekend off. Should be a good time.

Ciao!

Forgive The Urgency, But Hurry Up And Wait

2007-07-04T09:09:00.000-04:00

"Look After You" - the Fray

I figured I'd throw a line from one of their songs on here today as I just saw their show last week up in Columbia. Good time. The Fray really puts on a good show and I'm happy I went, despite the fact that I had a cold for most of last week. Hell, a few $9 beers at the pavillion will make you forget all about illness.

So NHL free agency began on Sunday. And lots of players landing on new teams. I was surprised to see some, not so surprised about others. I really didn't expect that Drury AND Briere would have left Buffalo. I figured one or the other, but not both. The Rangers did well to sign Drury and Scott Gomez from New Jersey. But I still hate that team. Let's talk about Washington's moves....

The first two to be announced were Tom Poti and Viktor Kozlov. Both are decent pick ups. I was more jazzed with picking up Poti, since everyone knows that the Caps are really hurting for blue line help, than I was about Kozlov. Kozlov is good, but not stellar. But I really didn't expect to see Washington bring in any superstar names. I think they'll definitely be good additions to the roster.

Now, I couldn't be happier about the signing of Michael Nylander to a 4 year deal. I liked him when he played here before and I hated to see him go in the trade to Boston a few years back. I was hoping that we'd pick a playmaking center during the off season and damn if the front office didn't grant my wish! Although today I read that the Edmonton Oilers are upset over Nylander signing in Washington because, according to Edmonton, they felt they already had a deal in place to add him to their club. A complaint was filed with the league and I forsee some kind of legal action behind this. If this somehow works out that Nylander's contract with the Capitals is void and he has to report to Edmonton, I'm gonna be pissed. I guess we'll have to wait and see how this plays out.

I don't really have much in the way of a wish list in terms of "I'd like to see the Caps pick up (fill in high profile name here)." Sure, there were some big names hitting the free agent market this year, but I really didn't expect that we'd land the likes of Gomez, Drury, Kariya, etc. If nothing else, I'm realistic. I had only hoped that the management would land some hard working players that would add some experience to what's been a pretty young team for the past couple of years. And they seemed to have done that. I hope they don't just look good on paper when October rolls around.

So I caved in to all the hype last week. Friday night I wandered out to the Apple store up in Columbia and picked up an iPhone. Let me tell you folks, believe the hype. This is one of the coolest things I've ever bought. I was already an AT&T customer, so it was easy to just go get one and have the service switched from my old phone to the new one. I know some people who have Verizon and Sprint phones that wanted the iPhone, but couldn't get out of their existing contracts without paying out the ass. What a drag. I can say that despite how much I love this thing, I still don't know that I would've camped out and waited in insanely long lines when they went on sale at 6PM like so many people did. I went to the Apple store shortly after 9 that night, walked right in, swaggered up to the counter and bought one without any hassle. I only had to wait the 10 or 15 seconds it took for my credit card to be approved. Screw waiting!

Anyhow, time to go out and play some ball with Murphy who's been patiently waiting here for Dad to finish typing. I hope everyone has a good 4th of July. Adios muchachos!

What About When Bulidings Fall? What About that Midnight Phone Call?

2007-06-26T07:23:00.000-04:00

Today's title lyric brought to you by Carbon Leaf's "What About Everything." One of the best songs I've ever heard. Check it out.

I actually have a week off from work! Holy shit, what am I gonna do?!

This is my Wednesday/Thursday week (every other week I only work Wednesdays and Thursdays). I needed to take off on Thursday since I'm going to see The Fray, and figured I might as well take off Wednesday and enjoy not having to throw a uniform on for a whole week.

I got up at an ungodly early hour this morning, which I suppose is good since when I do go back to work, it's on the day shift. I figure I'll make good use of the time. When I'm finished writing this, I'll take the trash out and then washing my dirtier-than-shit Jeep. I'm still trying to figure out how something that sits in my driveway a majority of the time can get so dirty. Oh well.

Murphy has a vet appointment this morning. He managed to rip off his du claw on his right leg last week. And he couldn't do it during "normal business hours," of course not. So he had to go the emergency vet. Fortunately they didn't rape my wallet like I expected they would. Today he just gets a follow-up with the normal vet to make sure everything is good. It looks fine, so I don't anticipate any issues. It's hard to believe that I've only had him 2 months now. Feels like he's been around a lot longer than that. Big dogs rock!

I'm still a little shorthanded at work. My guy that was involved in the Memorial Day shooting is still on administrative leave. All we're waiting on now if for the Grand Jury to clear him. I'm told that the State's Attorney's Office will probably present the case to the GJ this week, and we hope to have him restored to full duty by the end of the week. Of course, I find it ironic that he'll be back to work in time to go on vacation. He's scheduled to be off for about 2 1/2 weeks in July. Lucky bastard gets the better part of two months off. But he's a good guy and we can't wait to have him back out on the road. I know he's anxious to get back out, too.

The Washington Capitals unveiled their new uniforms last Friday. I gotta say, they look pretty cool. I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew they were going to go for a more "old school" look. They pulled that off and still managed to keep a modern look about them. I'm sure I'll be ordering mine pretty soon. The free agent market opens up soon. I can't wait to see who's going where. More importantly, I can't wait to see who the Caps pick up.

That's it for today, chums. Before I forget, Kim, you need to 'splain the whole hospital thing. I hope all is well.

Move Along, Move Along Just To Make It Through

2007-06-06T09:16:00.000-04:00

I was painfully reminded over the past couple of days just how much I despise working the day shift. Getting out of bed at 3:30AM has never been my forte, and having to deal with a seemingly endless parade of brain-dead idiots all day long doesn't make it any better. Thankfully I'm off today.

The past week has been crazy with a capital "C." On the morning of Memorial Day one of my officers shot someone. I'm not going to get into great deal about it right now, because the State's Attorney's Office still hasn't given it their blessing yet (although I expect they will any day now), but there's no doubt in my mind that my officer was completely right to shoot. The person he shot isn't dead (nor is he expected to die), so that's always a plus, but there's still a ton of hoops you have to jump through when you cap someone in the line o' duty. Another one of my guys is shipping off to Iraq this week. He's been on leave for the past couple of weeks to have time with his family, etc. before he goes. So raise your glasses tonight to my friend, Larry. Get back soon and safe, buddy.

Today should be fairly relaxing. Nice weather and not a whole lot to do around here. I need to run out to pick up my dry cleaning in a bit. I'll take Murphy with me since he loves car rides and since I've been working the past two days, he hasn't had much time to spend with Dad. Tonight I'll trek out to Kent Island for a going away party for another guy I know. He's in the Royal Navy and has been stationed at Ft. Meade for the past three years. His tour here is over and it's time for him to head back over to England. Should be a good time. Only thing that really sucks about going to this party tonight is that I'll miss watching the hockey game. The Stanley Cup could very well be awarded tonight. Part of me is hoping that Ottawa wins tonight to force a game six, so I can watch all the action. But I'd like to see Anaheim win it. They've played great and have most definitely earned it.

Anyhow, I'm going to hit the shower and hit the road. Ciao.

I'll Be Waving My Hand, Watching You Drown

2007-05-24T09:46:00.000-04:00

So I seem to have the hardest time coming up with catchy little titles for these posts, so I'm taking the easy way out. Lines from songs. Today's line comes from the song "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace, which happens to be playing on my iTunes right now. See, that wasn't hard to come up with, was it?

Anyhow, Kim, thanks for your concern, but Murphy has not eaten me (yet). Schedule changes at work have had me buried on the overnight shift for the past five weeks. I have one more week of mids to go before I see the light of day again. We usually rotate days/nights every two weeks, so the change has me a bit screwed up. I don't mind keeping vampire hours, since I'm not that much of a morning person, but I was used to the two week routine.

I'm taking advantage of the fact that I didn't have to get up today and go rush off somewhere or get something done around here. Make no mistake, there's plenty to do around here (I need to finish mowing the lawn today), I just don't have to do it right this second. I get to relax with a damn good cup of coffee (oh yeah, I'm a freakin' barista over here!), play some tunes, and, yeah, even update this thing.

Not a whole hell of a lot going on in my world. My Chief retired at work last week. It was a bit sudden, but not entirely unexpected. Our Deputy Chief was made Acting Chief of Police until a decision is made on the permanent position. The Mayor and City Council can either decide to make him the permanent Chief or they can accept resumes, hold interviews and decide on anyone they like. I'm hoping that the Deputy Chief gets it. He's been there 17 years and is a damn good guy. Hell, the past several months he's more-or-less been running the department anyway. And the Mayor recognizes that, which is good. If they decide to promote the Chief from within, and the Deputy Chief gets it, that also opens up a promotional opportunity for yours truly. I would have a shot at getting promoted to Lieutenant, which would be very nice. I make OK payola right now, but Lieutenants get a pretty comfy salary. I'd also get an office, an unmarked car and I can say goodbye to shift work. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a patrol supervisor, but I think I'm ready to come off the road after 13 years. But I can't go putting the cart before the horse. IF it happens, it's still a way off.

Murphy celebrated his first month with me a few days ago. Yeah, we had a few drinks to mark the occasion. Well, I had a few drinks, he just kept nudging my arm with his big head. He's a terrific dog and I'm really glad I got him. We were out in the yard a little while ago playing ball (his favorite thing in the whole wide world), and now he's snoozing in the bedroom.

And so ends today's post. I'd love to say I'll post again tomorrow, but we all know how reliable I am when it comes to that. So, until next time, I'll leave you with these words of wisdom....

Don't let the Man get you down.

Please Help Me Welcome.....

2007-04-21T13:28:00.000-04:00

MURPHY!!

(Murph posing in the backyard. Isn't he sharp looking?)

After 2 1/2 months of waiting and wondering, I finally brought home my big buddy this past Thursday evening. After a trip down to Woodbridge, VA to meet his foster mom and him, I knew I had to bring him home with me. He's absolutely the coolest. As Great Danes go, he's on the smaller side, weighing in at only around 115 lbs. right now (vet says he should gain at least 5 more pounds to be ideal). But he's got a TON of personality (just like his Dad). He's 2 1/2 years old, but still carries on like a puppy. Murph wasted no time at all making himself at home, as I type this he's asleep next to me on the sofa. He loves that there's a big yard for him to run and play in (foster family lived in a townhouse w/a small yard), and he's pretty funny to watch run around. He gallops more than anything. Anyhow, this week has been crazy between work and literally finding out Wed. that I was next on the list to see Murphy and then bringing him home the very next day. Thank God I have the weekend off so that I can get him acclimated - although he seems to be doing that just fine on his own - and getting some other assorted stuff done around here.

Jumping on the Imus Bandwagon

2007-04-12T14:20:00.000-04:00

As much as I'm getting really worn out on all the hubbub about the remarks Don Imus made, I felt compelled to throw my 2 1/2 cents into the jar.

First of all, I'm not a fan of this guy. I'd caught his show on MSNBC a few times over the years, (which is to say that I stopped for all of about a minute while channel surfing), but that's about it. I don't really know that I'd call him very funny, although he claims his show is mostly comedy. But having said that, I don't think I'd go so far as to say he's a racist anti-Christ, either.

I'm having trouble understanding how the likes of the Rev. Al Sharpton and his minions can go on a rampage demanding that Imus be fired for a "nappy headed ho's" remark about a basketball team. Imus isn't a journalist. He's not an elected official. He's just a guy who tries to entertain his (underscore HIS) audience every day. Was the remark funny? I don't know. I don't really follow basketball and know precisely dick about the Rutgers women's team. So I'm the last person on Earth who might get humor out of that. But you know what folks, if I don't think it's funny, that doesn't exactly make him wrong for saying it. If Imus had said "Yeah, that Rutgers team is a bunch of no-talent, lazy n****rs," then he absolutely belongs in the unemployment line. Because that, my friends, would be a hateful, racist remark.

I can watch black comedians on HBO and even listen to rap music daily and hear the same, if not worse, remarks being made about African Americans - BY African Americans. I've heard some songs containing pretty derogatory remarks about women and I've heard many a comedian and rap artist throw the word "nigga" around like they're tossing a hackey sack. It's truly a double standard.

If you're going to be mad at Imus, be mad at Lil' Jon, Snoop, and all the others who use harsh and sometimes demeaning language in support of their "artistic endeavours." At the end of the day, I don't give a shit if rappers and comedians use those words as part of the act. If I'm legitimately offended by it, I just won't listen. If you don't care for a talk show host's point of view, a rapper's lyrics, a comedian's material, don't listen! It's a simple concept. But I guess it's easier to find all that's wrong in the world than it is all that's right.

I did a little looking into Mr. Imus before I sat down to write this, since I don't really know much about him. He's been in broadcasting a long time and it seems that he and his wife do a great deal of charitable work. So I don't really think he's a bad guy. And I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say he's a racist hate-monger. He just doesn't know how to make a joke. That doesn't make him a racist, it makes him a lousy entertainer. Rev. Al and his brood need to learn how to separate the innocuous from the malicious.

The rant endith. Go in peace.

I Hate Mondays

2007-04-09T19:09:00.000-04:00

Especially when it's my first day back on the day shift. I'm about as far from a morning person as can be, so getting up for work at 3:45 AM damn near kills me. Oh well, the things I do for money.

I'm going to take a moment to respond to some comments from my last post(s):

Sorry Kim, I won't be doing anyone else's yard work but my own. It's going to be all I can do to whip this place into shape. I enjoy having a large yard, but maintianing it is a mofo.
The Great Dane I've got my eyes on is a harlequin with cropped & floppy ears. He has one blue eye and one brown eye. Very sharp looking dog. Last I was told I was #2 on the list to see him and I haven't heard anything more on him. I did come up with alternates (I really like the fawns, but they're few & far between), but the only ones I think I can go see right now are all the way down in North Carolina. I'm not beyond driving that far, but I'd like to see how I fare locally before I make a road trip.

So I'm still wondering when I'm ever going to bring a new pooch home. Hopefully sometime soon, but it's really hard to say. With the list of dogs I gave them, it seems that I'm second, third and even fourth on the list to see the ones I want the most. Something tells me I'm not going to end up with any of the dogs I really want.

The regulation 2006-2007 NHL season is over and we're on to the playoffs. I really do enjoy watching the playoffs, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how much it sucks that Washington didn't make it (again). I'll keep my fingers crossed for next year. I'm interested in seeing what happens over the summer when Big Daddy Ted (Leonsis) says we'll probably be active in the free agent market. We have bunch of hard working guys, but sometimes that's not enough. I'd be willing to bet that there will be a move to land a solid playmaking center. Ovechkin and Semin did well this season, but imagine what they could do with an Adam Oates-type center.

And I'll leave you all with these words of wisdom for the day:

"Don't trust Whitey."

I Dig Spring

2007-04-03T17:02:00.000-04:00

Literally.

I capitalized on the great weather today, and the fact that I didn't have to work, to get some much needed yard work done. Late last year I removed two trees from in front of my house which I'm convinced had been dead longer that Abe Lincoln. When I did that, however, the front of my house looked exceptionally bare. So I knew that once Spring rolled around, I would have my work cut out for me.

So today I got up at a respectable hour and zipped down to the Home Depot to pick up some plants, flowers, mulch and edging so that I could make the joint look nice. Several hours, beers and gallons of sweat later, I don't mind telling you it looks kick ass. I only did one side of the front porch today and will do the rest this weekend. But having only done one side of it made a world of difference. I'm quite pleased with myself.

In other news, I finally received word that I'm approved to adopt a dog from the organization I applied with back in the beginning of February. I appreciate the fact that they are a volunteer organization, but taking two months to decide if I'm a worthy candidate to adopt is ridiculous. And if they were really that backed up processing applications, all they needed to do was let me know. I'm a fair guy, but not hearing anything for weeks at a time is just stupid.

Anyhow, the next step in the process involves another person getting in touch with me (the e-mail they sent last Thursday said "within the next few days," but I'm still waiting for a call or e-mail) and I tell her which dogs I'm most interested in from the website. I have a list of about 5 dogs, but I really have my sights set on one in particular. But since he may no longer be available by the time I'm ready to bring a dog home, I have to have alternates. If the dogs I'm interested in are still available, I have to contact the people who are currently fostering them to arrange a day to come out and see him. If all goes well, I come home with my Great Dane. I'm realistically another couple weeks away from actually seeing a dog, much less bringing one home, but hopefully I'll have a new addition to the family soon. I'm in the home stretch now.

WTF????

2007-03-23T18:02:00.000-04:00

So the past several weeks have been CRAZY. Work, as always, is completely running me ragged. Thank God I'm off this weekend and can enjoy the nicer weather. But I'm not going to rant about work today, I have another entree on my rant plate today.....

At the end of January, after thinking about it for awhile and looking at sites on the Internet, I decided to adopt a dog. I wanted a large, short-haired dog that would be a lot of fun to have around. So I decided on a Great Dane. Hey, when you're as tall as I am, they don't really seem that big. I contacted a rescue organization that I found on the web and began the process. It started off with a "phone interview." After that, the person I spoke to e-mailed me a 4-page application, which I promptly filled out and mailed in at the beginning of February. After that, I was supposed to be scheduled for a home visit. But when the whole month of February came and went and I hadn't heard a word from anyone, I sent an e-mail asking what my application status was. That same day I was contacted about my home visit and someone came by three days later. The woman who came to the house was nice enough and she brought one of her own Great Danes so I could see what it was like to have a large dog in the house. All well and good. Her dog was cool, very friendly, and HUGE! 170 lbs.! That's what I'm talkin' about! I was sold. Now, I really wanted one. So Cindy, the woman who came to my house, indicated that everything looked good and that I should get a letter approving me by the end of the week. Two and a half weeks went by and, again, I heard nothing from them. So I e-mailed Cindy asking what was going on. Cindy got back to me that same night and said that I should have heard something and she'd be in touch with Debby (the state coordinator) that night to see what was happening. Cindy even thanked me for following up with her and said that she wanted to get me approved ASAP. So I'm thinking "That's cool, I should hear from them any day now." Another week goes by.....nothing. So I sent an e-mail directly to Debby asking about my status. (It's been a month and a half now). I sent that e-mail to her this past Monday. She replied to me this morning. It was a very brief message in which she gave me a short apology for the delay, and the she indicated that she was having an issue contacting a vet reference. At this point, I'm a little irritated. When I sent in my application (45 days ago!) I provided a copy of my girlfriend's dogs' vaccination records, as well as the name, address and phone # of the vet the dogs go to. I guess she lost those pages. So I e-mailed her the information (again) this morning.

This is strictly my opinion here, but I'm a responsible adult, I'm a police officer, and I have a house and a large, fenced-in yard. I provided the references they've asked for (oh, they haven't contacted my "personal reference" yet, either), and they've inspected my home. Should it really take anyone this long to determine if I'm worthy enough to adopt a dog? And even once I find out that I'm approved, there is still the matter of actually going to see the dog I want at his foster home in Virginia. If, by then, someone else has adopted the dog that I want, I have to look at which other dogs might be available and go see them. So I'm still at least a couple more weeks away from even seeing a dog, much less bringing one home.

Angelina and Brad can adopt a Vietnamese kid faster than I can adopt a dog from these people. It's getting beyond ridiculous and as much as I want to send her an e-mail chastising her for taking entirely too long to get this wrapped up, I can't. I still have to be nice to her because I really want this dog. But my patience has worn thin and I'm giving her until April 2nd, which is officially over 2 months since I started this process, to approve my application. If I haven't gotten an approval by then, I'm sending one last e-mail withdrawing my application and letting them know, in no uncertain terms, that their process is incredibly flawed and difficult, and that as much as I would've loved to adopt one of their dogs, it shouldn't take nearly this long to do it.

I didn't expect to get one of their dogs overnight. I'm realistic. But this is just crazy. And I could appreciate if they were busy, backed up on applications, whatever. But all they would have to do is tell me and I'm cool with that. I don't like going weeks without a word from anyone. I gave them personal information and allowed them to come into my home. I think that being kept updated is only a small courtesy to expect from them in return.

I'll keep everyone posted on the next chapter in this silly little saga.

Any thoughts?

An Open Letter to My Landlord

2007-02-20T18:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Shawn,

This is a decent house you're renting me here. Good bit of space, huge fenced yard, quiet street, and you're not charging me more than you should for it. Good for you.

But why do you insist on leaving things that are quite clearly your responsibility as the property owner for me to take care of?

When I moved in here last summer you gave me a credit on my first month's rent because I painted the place. I only agreed to to that for two reasons. First and foremost, when it got to be one day before I was set to move in and your guy still hadn't swung a paint brush, I was nervous. Second, I did kind of like the idea that I'd be able to put some colors on the walls besides the "hospital white" that you had all over this joint before. And how many months did it take you to send someone out to fix the leaking faucet in the bathtub? Not to mention that they still haven't put that floor trim down like they were supposed to. I only asked for that to be replaced four months ago. Maybe if I'm lucky, it'll all get done when I'm ready to move out.

The heating system was acting stupid a few months back when we started to feel a nip in the air. Your solution? Call a company to come out and fix it? Oh, heavens no, why should you do that? Leave it up to me to get it done? Yeah, that's more your speed. "Just take care of it and take the $ off the rent." Yeah, no shit. You think I'm paying a dime out of my own pocket for something you should have done in the first place? You're drunk, aren't you?

And now my washing machine has gone down faster than an Atlantic City whore. I e-mailed you about this last week when it happened and your reply was that you'd have a new one here this past weekend. Yeah, it never showed up and I never heard from you. So I sent you another e-mail yesterday to which you replied today. The way it read, you were in touch with a guy selling a new one, all I needed to do was give the guy a call and he'd bring it over, set it up, and haul away the broken one. Of course, I would have to pay for it and "just take the $ off your March rent" (thanks again, buddy), but I sort of figured that was coming. So I call the guy tonight. He was cool, but it was immediately obvious that you had never even spoken to him. Apparently you saw an ad the guy had placed for his appliances and lobbed the ball back into my court. Looking up ads is easy, you didn't do shit!

I swear the only time my you actually act like a landlord is when you cash my rent checks every month. I mean, you're an okay guy, decent to talk to and you let me do pretty much whatever I want to do with the house, but c'mon, man! I think that in addition to taking the washing machine money off my next month's rent, I should add a little extra charge, you know, for the effort. You probably won't like that too much, but that's just how I roll.

Thanks again for nothing you lazy dick-knot,
P.

What To Do, What To Do....

2007-02-19T10:58:00.000-05:00

I'm probably one of the few that likes the fact that today is Monday. While most are going back to work after having the weekend off, and hating it, I'm happily off today. I worked all weekend and now I'm enjoying the beginning of my week off from work. I took this Wednesday and Thursday off (the only days I was scheduled to work this week), so I get the whole week to myself. Well, that's not entirely true since my Chief thought it would be a great idea to send all his Sergeants to a bullshit seminar on Friday morning. I get my week off interrupted to go listen to some nonsense for a whole hour and a half - 9:30AM to 11:00AM. While some of you might say "Well that's not too bad, it's only an hour and a half," I would say that's precisely my point. I have to be bothered to go to this thing for 90 freakin' minutes and have it fuck up a completely good day off. But I get the last laugh. For 90 minutes of crap, I'll get paid the minimum 3 hours of overtime for it. Thanks for the extra cash, Chief.

Yesterday was my Dad's 75th birthday. Happy Birthday to my old man. Tonight we're going to take him out for a nice dinner and all that good stuff. I'm looking forward to it and it should be a good time. Dad is still dealing with his cancer and is still getting regular treatments and stuff, but he seems to be doing well. It's still so strange to me that when I call their house he is frequently the one answering the phone and he'll sit there and actually talk for awhile. Trust me when I tell you that my Dad has never been one to answer the phone, much less have more than a two sentence conversation on it. It was sometimes hard growing up with Dad because he was a strict disciplinarian and I was a bit of a screw up, but now that I'm (we're) older, it's been great. Here's to you, Dad, you're a great guy. You can still be a pain in the ass (apple doesn't fall from from the tree there, either), but you're a great guy. Cheers, John.

I'm apparently developing a tradition. When I was living in my brother's house last year, the washing machine took a nose dive on me. And now the same thing has happened here. Honestly, I'm pretty good at doing my laundry - I sort the clothes properly and all that stuff. I don't overload the washer trying to do a week's worth of stuff at once. But it seems that I'm cursed to have these things die out on me. I sent my landlord an e-mail about it last Wednesday when it happened and he said he'd try to have a new machine here over the weekend. Well, I just checked the calendar and it's Monday. Haven't seen or heard from him. I just sent him another e-mail asking for an update. I hope he gets it here soon. The clothes are piling up and I dread the concept of going to use the coin laundry. I'm not that much of a Telemundo fan.

I was about to launch into a rant about my landlord, but in an effort to keep my posts from looking like mini-novels, I'll save it for tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to grab myself another coffee and relax for a bit before I start tackling some chores around here.

EDIT - After I wrote the first paragraph I surfed on over to good ol' buddy Lisa's blog and realized that today is President's Day. So, yeah, most people aren't going to work today. Sad part about my job is that holidays don't matter because we never close. So I don't really pay much attention to them anymore. But tomorrow, when everyone is going back to work, I'll still be off! Boo-ya!

Peace & Chicken Grease!

Random Thursday Junk

2007-02-15T10:24:00.000-05:00

Well this was a lovely, pain-in-the-ass, storm we had, wasn't it? I managed to slide home from work Tuesday afternoon right as it was all getting into full swing. Fortunately for me, I was off yesterday and today so I really didn't have to deal with all the bullshit. I can't stand working in severe weather. All I do is deal with knuckleheads wrecking their cars when they shouldn't have been out on the roads in the first place. But enough of me ranting about weather and idiots.

So Kolzig is out for three weeks with an injury. That blows. Brent Johnson is a decent back-up, but his play isn't always very consistent. I've seen him stand on his head and make some incredible saves, and I've seen him play like he was still sitting on the end of the bench with his helmet off. We're playing Tampa Bay tonight. We'll see how he does. I was happy to see that we signed Donald Brashear to a one year extension. I dig seeing him on the ice and even though he's far from a scoring threat, I like that he can keep the other teams honest. And by that I mean he can pummel the shit out of opposing team's goons.

I enjoy having days off from work during the week (like today). It's cool that if I need to go to the store, or anything like that, it won't be swamped with people. It's nice that I can sit here in my jammies playing loud music while everyone else I know is at work. In case anyone gives a shit, I'm jamming out to Carbon Leaf's "Learn to Fly." Good tune. Check it out. Of course, for as much as I'm digging the day off, I actually do have to go to work this afternoon. Our monthly supervisors meeting is scheduled for today. It's been scheduled on my day off for the past three months. I think the Chief hates me. I'll show him, though. I'm taking next week off. That'll teach him. Yeah, sure, whatever helps me sleep, right?

In other news, I'm going through the process of adopting a dog. Or at least I think I am. I had a "phone interview" and submitted my (4-page!) written application a couple of weeks ago. I haven't heard from anyone with the organization I'm going through, but I know they got my application because they cashed the "donation" check I enclosed with my app. According to their website, once they get my application they check my references and then they schedule a home visit. After the home visit they get together to determine if I'll be a good candidate to adopt. If I'm approved, then I meet with someone who'll match me up with available dogs they feel are best suited for me. Then I go see the dogs and see how it goes from there. It's a lot of stuff to go through (although I do kind of understand they want to screen people carefully), but I think it would be easier for me to adopt a Chinese kid. Hopefully I'll hear something from them soon. I'd hate to think that they took my money and ran, 'cause, you know, that would be wrong.

Is My Face Red?

2007-02-11T13:25:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm mildly embarrassed.

OK, so here I am telling people that I'm back, I'm going to be posting stuff somewhat regularly, and what do I do? I forget my damn Blogger password. I'm not sure what happened. I have a handful of passwords that I use for things and I was convinced that I knew what I used for this. Apparently not. And God forbid you try to get your password reset. That was an ordeal. But after two days of messing around with it, I got back in. And I won't be forgetting this password anytime soon.

So I watched the Capitals lose to the Rangers last night. That kind of sucked, but I had a fantastic dinner and many drinks at Clyde's and Fado' before/after the game, so that was good. A friend from work and his wife came along and we all had a great time despite the loss. I was digging how everyone (myself included) was booing Jagr everytime he touched the puck. Welcome back to Washington Jaromir! And how about those fights? Sutherby throwing the gloves off was nice and who doesn't like a nice ass-kicking at the hands of Brashear? High-quality fisticuffs. Gotta like that.

On a related note - Hey Kim, what was it like to be on the Jumbo-Tron with your Mom? That was you, wasn't it?

Time to run to the store. Running low on coffee here at the house, which we all know is just wrong. See you tomorrow, peoples.

Back From Hiatus

2007-02-06T08:28:00.000-05:00

At least for now.

OK, so I completely suck ass with keeping this thing current. I've sat down here numerous times thinking about something to update with and have drawn a total blank. Writer's block? I dunno. I think you have to be an actual writer before you can have that. Lack of creativity? Probably. It's not like there hasn't been stuff going on. Just being able to sit down long enough to compose thoughts to tell these little stories has become difficult for some reason. Maybe I was a little burned out. Who the hell knows?

Anyhow, I'm going to make an honest effort to get this going again. I've stored up some rants and raves and some halfway funny stories from work that should keep me in business for a little while anyway.

As I sit here and think about this, it occurs to me that I have probably lost any of the readers I once had. That kind of thing will happen when you don't throw out any fresh material. But we'll see. Maybe they're still around, lurking and what-not. And maybe, just maybe I'll score some new readers. I'd better bring my "A" game. Tune in tomorrow folks, P&S is back with a whole new season - with limited commercial interruption.

Happy Holidays

2006-12-24T15:39:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm really not sure how long this blog will survive if I don't post in eons. It's been a long couple of months for me. I've been exceptionally busy with stuff at work (surprise, suprise). I was sent to an FBI school late last month and now I'm trained as a hostage negotiator. That's always a reassuring feeling isn't it? Someone like me to talk someone down from the ledge. Anyhow who actually knows me will get how funny that is.

On a very sad note, I had to say goodbye to my faithful friend Jake at the end of November. The big guy who was with me for over 10 years had some serious health issues onset very quickly and I had to make the decision that everyone dreads. I haven't gotten another dog just yet, and I'm not sure how much of a hurry I'm in to get another one. I miss him a lot and it does seem very odd for me not to have a dog anymore, but his replacement (can there ever really be one?) will have some pretty big paws to fill. Jake was the best and I'll love him always. Thanks to those (especially Lisa) who sent e-mail thoughts (I even got a number of cards in the mail). I really appreciated it.

Switching gears, I survived my 35th birthday. It came two days after I lost Jake, so I tried to celebrate as best I could, but I was still a bit mopey. Went to the Improv and saw a comedy show featuring comedian Bob Marley. That guy is hilarious. I met him after the show, he autographed my CD and was a very cool guy. The following night I went to see the Caps punish the Sabres. I was in Clyde's before the game getting food and drink and was more or less surrounded by obnoxious Buffalo fans. I'm so glad that they lost - those motherfuckers were noticeably silent during the post-game walk down 7th St. The Capitals seem to be playing pretty well this year (not always that consistent, but at least we're in playoff contention). I hope to get out to some games again really soon. Always a good time. (except when I went to the game against Toronto after Thanksgiving and they got stomped 7-1 - that wasn't such a good time).

So Christmas is tomorrow. As of 5PM today I'll be off until after the New Year. I took a couple days off from work. I'm feeling burned out and I really need the time to recharge the batteries. I enjoy what I do, but sometimes (like recently) it just sucks the energy right out of you. I'll be spending the holiday at my brother's house. They are hosting the Christmas festivities this year. I got my nephew a Capitals jersey and other assorted toys. Toys for my niece as well. Uncle Pat is good like that.

Anyhow, to any readers I may still have left, a very happy holiday season to all of you and best wishes for a great 2007.

Ho, Ho, Ho......

P.

Howzitgoin'?

2006-11-05T12:24:00.000-05:00

OK, just checking in once more. It's a lazy Sunday afternoon (at least until I go to work later), and I actually scored some down time, so I figured I'd visit this place I have here and throw down some blatherings for your (or my) amusement.

So Friday night brought me an issue with my furnace here at the casa. I don't know what the hell is wrong with it (other than it just isn't working properly and I had to go buy a portable heater to keep myself comfortable). I called my landlord twice and left messages twice. He still hasn't called me back. When I do get in touch with him, let's just say that I'm not going to be particularly nice to him. There's really not much of an excuse for not calling me back. He's a real estate agent and I called his cell phone, which we all know those guys have with them 24/7. If I don't hear from him by tomorrow, I'm going to call a heating repair guy myself and my landlord is just going to get a little less rent money next month. Only thing that really sucks here is that I start the overnight shift this week, so the times I'll be available to have somone come over here and fix things will be slim. But I'll see what I can work out. Honestly, this place is great, but I seem to be having issue after issue here. I'll just get through them since my desire to move for a fourth time in a year is slim to none.

Friday night was also not the best night for my Washington Captials. They managed to choke against Atlanta and lose the game. I'll admit that the Thrashers are a pretty good team, but when we get the lead against them, we need to keep the lead. Didn't quite work out that way. Maybe next time. The Caps did, however, manage to redeem themselves against the Flyers Saturday night. Four goals in the first period. Well done, guys. Ended the losing streak we've had in Philly and made the miserable Flyers an even bigger joke. Tough to be a Flyers fan this year, huh? (I'm sure Lisa's Bill is less-than-happy, and Tom, my former roommate and die-hard Philly fan, is probably beside himself). The Philadelphia Flyers: Great on paper, shit on the ice!

I'm looking forward to getting out to a couple of Capitals games in the next month. Going to a game on the 24th against Toronto, which should be pretty fun. Going with a bunch of people and I'm still not sure where the seats are (but I'm pretty sure they won't be in the lower level, which blows). Then, the weekend of my birthday, I'm going to the Caps/Sabres game. Good seats for that one, in Section 103 again. Although I'm a bit nervous about that game since it's, well, you know, Buffalo and they're pretty damn good this year. "Dear Washington Capitals, I know you guys wanted to get together and do something nice for my birthday this year. All I'd like is for you to win against Buffalo. Oh, and maybe a few free beers. Thanks. P."

My musical pick for the week is "Let Love In" by the Goo Goo Dolls. The whole album by that name is kick-ass, but the single, "Let Love In" is a damn fine tune. Check it out.

Sometimes Life Gets In The Way

2006-10-23T07:01:00.000-04:00

I can only apoligize so many times for not posting regularly. I'm sure that any audience I may have had has long since defected to some other site that actually updates its content. Not that I could say I would blame anyone. I probably would, too.

I'm steadily getting back into the swing of working shift work again. Today begins my two-week day shift rotation. I can't stand day shift. I'm not too much of a morning person. Well, that's not entirely true. I don't mind, say, a 7AM rolling-out-of-bed time. But 4AM? Nah, that pretty much blows. But it is what it is. Fortunately, I only have to endure my early morning hell 7 times a month. I always look forward to working nights since I find it much easier to stay awake all night long than to get up at the ass crack of dawn.

OK, enough of me whining about my job. It pays me handsomely, so I really should bitch.

I spent a good bit of time on my past weekend off doing (what else?) work around the hacienda. I've (hopefully) mowed my lawn for the last time this season. I did some more painting and I'm happy to report that it's almost completed. I just have to hit the Home Depot on Wednesday and pick up some paint for one of the spare bedrooms and once that's all finished, I'm freakin' done! I know it seems like I've been painting my house forever, and it certainly feels like it's been that long, but I want to make sure it's all done right and looks great. Any chimp can slap up some paint, but I'm making sure EVERYTHING is done. Walls, ceilings, trim, everything.

Went to a crab feast on Saturday night. It was a pretty good time, and it was for a charity, so not only did I eat well, but I felt good about contributing. Only problem was the beer. Had I known you could've BYOB, I would've. They only had one brew on tap. Began with a "B" and ended in "udweiser." Ugh. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

OK, time for me to get some work done. The new Killers album is good stuff. So is Sam Adams Octoberfest. Adios muchachos!

How Now Brown Cow?

2006-10-04T11:42:00.001-04:00

So I managed to get through my course on being a mid-level administrator (which, by the way, I'm not). It was a tough class, but I learned a lot. I also learned that the class has an expiration date. If I'm not promoted to Lieutenant within the next two years, I have to take the course again. Yeah, like that's going to happen. No pressure, Chief.

Saw the Pat McGee Band this past Saturday night. Damn, that was a good time. Went to dinner at Applebee's first and polished off more than my fair share of 23 oz. beers. Gotta love the Brewtus glasses. Then wandered up the street to the bar where the band was playing and they had Sam Adams draft on special. It wasn't even my birthday! The band was excellent. Heard all my favorites: "Runaway," "Beautiful Ways," "Annabelle," and "Must Have Been Love," to name a few. I love cheap shows with cheap beer.

Today is the first day of the 2006-2007 hockey season! How damn cool is that? It's been a long wait. I'll be on the sofa promptly at 7PM to see the Sabres play the Hurricanes. I'd stay up and watch the 10PM game, but unfortunately I need to be up at 4AM again tomorrow for work.

Saturday night I'll be the happier-than-shit, half-in-the-bag, tall white guy at the Capitals' home opener. My tickets showed up in the mail last week and I've been looking at them every day in anticipation of what surely will be a great night. Of course it doesn't hurt that one of my favorite pubs is a half a block away from Verizon Center. Look for me in 103! Game on, mofos!

I Should've Issued A Warning

2006-09-20T18:15:00.000-04:00

For those of you (HLK) who may have been concerned about the possibility of my unfortunate, and might I add very premature, demise, don't worry. I'm still sucking up oxygen. There are moments, this being one of them, when I don't always find the time to goof off on the computer (if I can check my email once a day, that's about it), and I don't always post stuff here on P&S. Sometimes I can put up new things frequently, other times I could go a week or so. Sorry, it's just the way of the world.

But I managed to get a free moment this evening so I've been catching up on emails (I owed about 10 to people who've sent me stuff the past week or so), and I figured I'd throw some more nonsense on here.

This week and next I'm in another training class at work. Police Administrator school. Ooooooh, what fun this is. Sure it's grooming me to (one day) be an executive within my agency, but I still don't really have any idea when I might anticipate a promotion to Lieutenant (this class is mostly for Lieutenants and higher - only me and like 1 or 2 other Sergeants in the class). But I guess that when my promotion comes around, I'll be prepared for it. I'll be prepared to make that sweet $, that's for sure!

At the end of the month I'm going to see the Pat McGee Band play a show in College Park. That should be a blasty. Looking forward to that. But, even more than that, I'm looking forward to the start of hockey season. Like HLK was nice enough to point out, "15 days....." Oh yeah, it won't get here fast enough for me. I'm a junkie and I need my freakin' fix. I got tix for the home opener on Saturday the 7th. I even sprung for good seats in the lower section (I spoil myself that way sometimes). Damn that's going to be a good time.

Oh, and I have two things for good old HLK. 1. You're going to need a new name once the season starts. You can't very well refer to yourself as "Hockey Less" anymore. And, 2. "He's fleeing the interview! He's fleeing the interview!" Nice Fargo reference.

They're Trying To Kill Me

2006-09-11T13:43:00.000-04:00

My co-workers are all involved in a giant consipiacy to drive me into an early grave. Why would anyone want to snuff out a guy as cool as me, you may wonder? Well, I have no freakin' idea. But allow me to elaborate.

I went on vacation on Friday, September 1st and left town the following morning. Everyone knew that. They knew I wouldn't be back until this past Thursday, and they also knew that I could really care less about work while I was going (since, you know, that's the whole point of vacation, right?).

So I reach my destination Saturday afternoon and I'm on my first beer when my phone rings. It's one of the guys on my squad. He calls to tell me that my Corporal (my assistant squad supervisor) managed to have an accident with his cruiser. Nothing too serious - he's fine - but the car will need a couple new tires and probably some new wheels. Why is he calling me about this? I'm two states away and I couldn't do anything about it if I wanted to (and believe me, I didn't want to anyway). He even tells me that the Lieutenant was already notified about it. Again, why is he calling me then? Beats the shit out of me. I just took a drink and told him I'd see him when I got back. Thanks for getting my vacation off to a good start, pal.

Tonight we start our overnight rotation. My phone rings about an hour or so ago. It's one of my guys. He's asking about getting a day off in early October. I don't get it. It's not that he woke me up or anything. I was already awake, lounging around enjoying a damn fine cup o' coffee. But he was going to see me at work in a few hours. That couldn't wait? I don't get it. I usually do my best work when I'm actually at work.

But I'm not going to stress about it. I am going to let them know that unless it's some serious issue or emergency, whatever it is needs to wait until we're back at work. I think that's only fair. I may be able to extent my life expentency after all.

Switching gears - hockey season is pretty much right around the corner (although it won't start soon enough for me). Looks like Washington won't be picking up anymore players before the start of the season, even though it was highly rumored that they would. No big deal, I still like the way the team is shaping up. But there's still a big difference between looking good on paper and looking good on the ice. We'll see. Also, I picked up The Fray's "Live at the Electric Factory Bootleg, Vol. 1" on iTunes. Very cool. My favorites are "Over My Head" (of course), "She Is," and "How To Save a Life." Check it out.

I'm Back

2006-09-07T18:44:00.000-04:00

OK kiddies, I have returned. Just got back (about 5 hours ago) from my vacation. Nothing too exciting. Took a trip up to some hole-in-the-world place in Ohio to visit an old friend that moved up there a few years ago. Then a few days at my Aunt's place in southwestern PA. I really didn't do anything terribly exciting, but I managed to get out of town for about a week and I took my new Jeep on its first road trip. And for those of you who are wondering, it passed with flying colors. It was probably the first time in, I don't know, forever, that I didn't hate the long drive.

So, my first week back in uniform wasn't too bad. Nothing particularly exciting happened (which was odd because I was completely expecting something even remotely fucked up to happen). Getting up at the ass crack of dawn was not my idea of a good time, but I managed. Coffee came in large amounts, which was good, and I managed to make it through my shifts. On my two days off last week (before going back to work 1 day then going on vacation), I slept in until 7:30 and felt like a fucking wild man! It's nice to treat myself that way.

Anyhow, I'm enjoying a few more days off before going to the overnight shift on Monday. Going to a co-workers bachelor party in Baltimore Saturday night. That should be a good time. Catching up on my work around the house (lawn looks like hell again...ugh) tomorrow.

Besides H-L-K (since it should go without saying that she is), who else is totally charged about hockey season being around the corner? I can't wait. Going to try to make it out for the first Caps home game (and as many more during the season for that matter). Game on, mofos!

Play Break

2006-08-25T12:40:00.000-04:00

OK, so I have today off from work and that's all well and good. But I can't help but think that it's fundamentally wrong that I'm doing more work today than I have all damn week.

This past week at work was mostly just "busy" work. Doing stuff on the computer, making some phone calls, sorting files that need to go to my successor and things like that. I even went on a number of calls with the guys on the street (not because I had to, but because it was a cheap excuse to get out of my office). But for all the "busy" work I did, I was pretty far from over-working myself. Hey, it was my last week in my office, I fell into total slacker mode.

So now I'm off today, which is very cool since I have a lot of stuff around the house to catch up on. I got started awhile ago with the usual laundry and junk like that. After my second cup of coffee I decided to finally get my ass outside and start tackling the yard work (which there is never any shortage of). Can I just tell you all how much I hate doing yard work? Well, it's not so much that I hate it. When I'm out mowing and all that, I see instant results and the joint looks good again. I like that aspect of it. I don't like that it seems to take the better part of forever and that it's still around 90 degrees outside. Got the front yard mowed and came inside for a much needed bottle of water. Listened to a message on my machine and now I'm waiting for a friend to call me back (I hate it when you return messages within a couple of minutes and get that "Hey, let me call you right back" bullshit. That was 15 minutes ago...still waiting). So I figured while I'm sitting here waiting around, I'd type some nonsense on here.

Tonight is a party up in Baltimore which should be a good time. Tomorrow is a trip to Home Depot so I can get some paint for the master bedroom and some other junk. I still have no idea what color I want to paint it, so hopefully it won't take too long to sort that part out. Then I get to spend the better part of the day doing my "inside" work. Everything is coming along nicely, but not nearly as fast as I'd like it to. I'm impatient that way. Then tomorrow night I'm going over to my brother's house to hang out for a bit and we'll probably head out to Bethesda for a beer or four.

It should be a fun and productive weekend. I hope so anyway. I can't believe that the summer is almost over. It's flown by. I'm looking forward to getting into the fall season ('cause that means HOCKEY!), and things cooling off and, hopefully, slowing down a bit.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Check back next week since I'm sure that my first couple of days back on the street will be chocked full of stupid criminal stories.

Quick Update

2006-08-24T02:04:00.000-04:00

It's 2AM and I'm just getting settled back home from work. It's been a long week. I get to spend tomorrow cleaning out my car and my desk. My transfer is effective Monday morning at (ugh) 5AM. I take over my new patrol squad then. I will require insane amounts of coffee, but I think it will be fun. Of course, between the vacation that I'm taking and the two weeks of training I have next month, I'm working all of 7 shifts with my new squad the entire month. "Hey guys, I'm happy to be here, now look after yourselves for awhile. See you in October." Hell of a first impression, I think.

Anyhow, I'm tired as hell and need to get back up again in the morning. Time for a beer and some sack time. I'll check back in soon. Sorry for the 6 day delay.

Taking the Good With the Bad

2006-08-15T17:24:00.000-04:00

Interesting goings on at work lately. Lots of closed-door discussions among the command staff. The rumor mill is operating at 150%. Word on the street is that there are several changes forthcoming. The whole place is buzzing. Don't you just love this shit?

Of course, I normally pay little to no attention to that kind of stuff since it rarely affects me. Although, this time it seems that it will. Nothing has been said "officially," it sounds like yours truly is about to be transferred.

I was approached last week by one of my Lieutenants and was given a sort of "heads up" that something might be happening. And I was told yesterday to keep myself available this afternoon should any of the "White Shirts" (what I affectionately refer to anyone that's a Lieutenant or higher) wish to speak with me. Well, no one talked to me today, and I'm not sure when they will. But something is definitely happening.

Extremely long story short is that apparently the command staff is unhappy with the performance of a certain patrol supervisor. They want to move him out of his position. When they do that, they want me to transfer back into the Patrol Division and take over that squad.

I'm not particularly upset about that. I worked patrol for the better part of 10 years before becoming a detective. So it isn't like I don't know how to do it. Plus, being a street supervisor, in my opinion, is actually easier than what I'm doing now. Not to mention that, despite it being shift work, patrol guys actually work fewer days out of the month (12 hour shifts). Oh, and the best part - not being on-call anymore. I work my 12 hour shift and go home. So the concept of less work, less time at work and the same pay is slightly appealing. I would have to give up my unmarked car (which is cool since I'd get one of the brand new marked cars), and my usual uniform of jeans and a shirt. But I look okay in my uniform, so I guess I'll survive.

I'm hoping to know something definite by the end of this week. If it happens, I'm probably going to my new squad sometime next month. Oddly enough, I'm kind of looking forward to the change. Let's hope it all goes smoothly.

Will Work For Toys

2006-08-08T20:59:00.000-04:00

I think it should go without saying anymore that my job sometimes has a way of kicking me in the ass. I was on-call last week, which is usually no big deal. But it seemed like my phone would never stop ringing. I was happy that Sunday would be my last day on-call for the week. That was until 6:30 Sunday morning when my phone rang, yet again. Only in the ghetto-riffic place that I work in would there be a shooting at that hour on a Sunday morning. So, barely awake, I drag my ass into work to deal with the transsexual prostitute that got shot in her apartment. Yeah, you read that correctly. I couldn't make that up if I tried. I get all the gems, don't I?

Oh, before I quit talking about work and move on to other subjects, I have to share with you my "Stupid Criminal of the Week" story. One of the uniform guys ran a license plate on an Acura he just saw a guy park behind an apartment building. (The guy was acting a little strange when he saw the officer, so the officer wanted to check the tag on the car). Sure enough, the car is stolen. So he calls me and we decide to wait around to see if the guy comes back to the car. About 15 minutes later, here he comes. We grab him up and put him in handcuffs. Here is a part of our conversation:

Car Thief: "That's not my car! That's not my car!!"

Me: "Right. I know."

CT: "That's not my car!"

Me: "Yeah, I know that. That's why you're in handcuffs."

CT: "But sir, I'm telling you, that's not my car!"

We went back and forth like this for about 5 minutes and he just couldn't understand that his telling me, over and over again, that it wasn't his car simply would not help his cause. What a jackass.

Last week I treated myself to a little something nice. After months of thinking about it, I finally decided I wanted a new car. I enjoyed my old Volkswagen, but I was dying for more room. So I went out to the dealer late last week and picked up my new Jeep Grand Cherokee. I'm totally digging this thing. It's the same color as my old VW, which is cool. And it has a sunroof like the old Jetta did. But it also has twice the engine, 4WD and twice the space. Bonus. I also got my new XM radio the next day. I'm enjoying the hell out of that, too. Hell, the $12, or whatever the hell it costs a month is totally worth it just for the comedy channels. Damn funny stuff. But the music is great and I got this special "bundle" XM was offering where you got the radio, car kit, home kit and speaker box so you can pretty much put your radio in three different places and enjoy it. I'll all about my cool new toys this week.

Kick ass song of the week: "Far Away" - Nickelback. I can't seem to get enough of this tune. Check it out.

An Open Letter To Mel Gibson

2006-07-31T12:45:00.000-04:00

Dear Mel,

Sorry to hear about your run-in with the L.A. County Sheriff's last week. Sorry to hear you've fallen off the wagon. It happens to the best of us, pal.

But Mel, buddy, what's the deal with all that shit coming out of your mouth? I mean, c'mon dude. Anti-Semitic comments? Asking the deputy if he's a Jew? What's up with that? Oh, and Mel, bolting away from the deputy as he's trying to put you in the car is a pretty bad idea. If you'd done that to me I would've tasered the hell out of your Lethal Weapon ass.

I had a good bit to drink on Saturday night. I'd like to think that if I'd been pulled over, I wouldn't go blaming Hebrews of the world for my misfortune. It's just wrong, man. Just wrong.

After that little episode, I think you'll have a much better recovery from the problems you're having with alcohol than you will from the bullshit remarks you made.

And before I forget, clean your appearance up a bit, will ya? That nappy beard and shit is really making you look like the drunk uncle that no one likes to sit next to at weddings. The barber's chair won't hurt. I promise.

And, in conclusion, it's generally regarded as a bad idea to call a female booking Sergeant "Sugartits." At one point, like so many other women, she probably wanted to sleep with you, but you blew it pal, you blew it.

Yours Truly (you dumb-assed drunk),
P.

I'm Such A Puckhead

2006-07-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

In as much as I love the hell out of the regular season and the playoffs, I almost get just as excited about all the goings on in the world of hockey when July 1st rolls around.

I always enjoy seeing what happens in free agency. There have been plenty of off-season moves so far this year. Some were a little surprising, others, not so much.

I could talk about things like Belfour going to Florida, Pronger to Anaheim, or Chara to Boston, but let's talk about our Washington Captials, shall we?

I dig that they got what seems to be a pretty decent defenseman in Brian Pothier. Signing him to a four year contract was also a smart move. As lousy as this team has been on the blueline the past couple of seasons, it's nice to see that they are making a decent effort to get a quality guy in that spot who won't be gone after one season.

I like that we've re-signed guys like Steve Eminger, Shaone Morrisonn, Brent Johnson, Brooks Laich and Brian Sutherby. I like that Ben Clymer was given a three year contract. I like that Rico Fata was re-signed because I think he's got good hustle. Let's see if he can play a decent full season this year. I don't really know that I like Matt Bradley being given a 2 year contract. He's got grit, but that's about it. Not a terribly impressive player. Oh well, they can't all be gold.

Also acquired as a free agent was Donald Brashear. I'm really on the fence about this move. He's hardly what I'd consider a quality guy to have on the wing. Let's face it, he's a goon, an enforcer. A little protection for Ovechkin? (hey, that almost rhymes!). I suppose, but AO really doesn't have much of a problem dealing with defensemen. He lays on just as many hits as he takes. Tough kid. But if we have a guy sitting on the bench that would dissuade opponents from taking a cheap shot at him because they know that Coach Hanlon will put Brash on the ice to handle business, that's cool.

Another decent move was re-aquiring Richard Zednik. I liked him a lot when he was in Washington before. He's got great speed and he's come a long way with his shooting and puck handling. I'm looking forward to seeing him in a Caps uniform again.

Of course the rumor mills are still buzzing like hell about the possibility of Peter Bondra returning to Washington. I, personally, wouldn't mind seeing Peter return, hit the 500 mark, and retire as a Capital. I'll admit he's not the player he once was, but he's still got some shit to bring to the ice. Not a first line winger anymore, but far from being a healthy scratch.

Oh, and before I forget. So long to Jeff Halpern. I hope you enjoy being a third or fourth line center in Dallas. And enjoy that $2 million a year contract. You probably won't see numbers like that again. Sorry folks, I know some people really liked him as a Cap, but I was never really impressed. And for God's sake, Jeff, you're from fucking Potomac, Maryland, you can lose that Canadian accent when you speak! The guy sounds like fucking Barry Melrose!

I'm excited about the way our team is starting to look. And you better believe I'll be at Verizon Center on opening night. I'm definitely making it out to more games this year. Work be damned! I've got hockey to watch!

My Homage

2006-07-17T01:34:00.000-04:00

You've probably noticed a slight change in the layout here. I was pretty bored this evening and thought I'd dedicate a little time to sprucing this thing up a little bit. And what better way than to pay tribute to the most wacked-out person I can think of - Christopher Walken.

This guy is definitely on the short list of people I'd love to meet. He's so incredibly weird, and funny, and I'm not so sure that he even tries. I've loved him in pretty much every movie I've seen him in, and especially when he's hosted Saturday Night Live. Yes, I do own the "SNL: Best of Christopher Walken" DVD. It's an absolute classic. If you don't have it, rush right out and get it. You gotta love the "Colonel Angus" sketch! If you've never seen it, say the name a couple times fast and you should get the joke.

My admiration for the man was sparked by the Kevin Pollak show at the Improv Saturday night. It was a damn good time. Kevin puts on a great show and has some incredibly funny material which includes one of the best Walken impressions I've ever seen (he also does a great Alan Arkin). After the show, I had to buy his latest CD "A Little Off the Top," as it is pretty much a CD of the show he performed. Also got to meet him and got him to autograph the CD. Kevin is a really cool guy. Incredibly short (I'm talkin' like 5'05"), but very cool. Check out his CD as well, damn funny stuff.

Walken is the man.

Holy Shit, It's Friday!

2006-07-14T08:55:00.000-04:00

This week has pretty much flown by, and I really don't feel like I've accomplished much. Bummer. I still have tons of work to do here at Casa de la P. I work evenings next week, so I guess I'll drag my ass out of bed early each morning and keep plugging away at it before I head into the office.

Tonight I'm heading out to hang out with my brother. It will pretty much be the first time we've really done anything since he's moved back to Maryland. Apparently the wife and kids are visiting their Aunt in Chicago, so I guess he's bored. He called the other night and suggested going to Herndon (VA) to check out a band. I'm all for it bro, but you're driving. Driving into Northern VA, especially on a Friday night, is a pain in the ass.

Tomorrow I'm going to check out Kevin Pollak at the DC Improv. I'm looking forward to that since I think he's pretty damn funny and I haven't been to the Improv in a few years. Should be a good time.

Sunday is lawn mowing day. And yes, it will take the better part of the day. I have almost an acre to mow and all I have is my push mower. It's one hell of a workout, but if I don't take a couple breaks during the process, I'll probably give myself heat stroke (which I almost did last week). Well worth the effort though. I'd hate to look like the white trashy neighbor on the block.

Okay mi amigos, time to crank up the music, hit the shower, and make my way off to work. Peace & Chicken Grease!

I'm So Easily Amused

2006-07-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

I was turned on to this website today and it's probably one of the stupidest concepts for a website, but I still find it funny as hell. Check it out, it's a good, cheap laugh.

Chuck Norris Facts

The fact list spans several pages, and there are some stupid ones in there. But there are a lot of clever factoids about America's Favorite Badass. One of my personal favorites - "One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors." And, of course, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys."

Yes, I'm Still Alive (But Only Barely)

2006-07-10T19:09:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. It's been a busy couple of weeks here. Moving went about as well as it could have. Nothing was destroyed along the way. I'm assuming that everything reached its destination, but since I'm still pretty far from being totally unpacked, it's hard to say. I haven't had internet access at my place yet (Verizon turns it on this Thursday, Thank God!), so I've had to resort to using a work computer to check my e-mail and stuff as I can. Thought I'd use it for a moment to check in.

I've spent the little free time I've had getting this place in order, but have encountered the minor setbacks along the way. I have to re-caulk the bathroom tub downstairs since whoever did it before did a horrible job and water leaks every time you take a shower. They may not have cared much for this happening - I do. I'm convinced that the people who lived here before me were the laziest people on the face of the Earth. Not that I'm the Crowned Prince of Motivation, mind you, but I at least make an effort to keep my shit clean.

In the little more than a week that I've been here my power has gone out twice (I hope that this isn't a usual thing here in the neighborhood) and my cable is out as we speak (and that was only hooked up this past Saturday!). I'm really hoping that this is all the bullshit I'll have to endure with my utilities.

Other than that, I'm totally digging this place and I can honestly say that once I've put everything in order and gotten everything cleaned up, etc., it will be a very swingin' pad.

Alright, gotta get back to work. Bob Vila can kiss my ass!

P.S. - The All-American Rejects' "Move Along" kicks ass - check it out.

S.O.S.

2006-06-25T13:16:00.000-04:00

Somebody help me. I've been kidnapped by the Soul Patrol! I'm being held in some backwards assed shanty in Alabama by the disciples of that prematurely-gray haired crooner . Send help.

I know, I know. I've been M.I.A., again. Been busy guys. Work, as always, won't let me have much downtime. And the downtime I've had lately I've had to dedicate toward getting things arranged for my upcoming move. Ugh. This is my last weekend here in the Bethesda pad. I'm gonna miss this place, but I'm looking forward to moving on to another, slightly more permanent arrangement. Plus, my new house is bigger and has a much bigger back yard. Yes, that translates into P-Dogg is throwing a party sometime around the end of the summer. Everyone is invited. BYOB, deadbeats.

Gotta run, time to go to work, again.

One For The Good Guys

2006-06-16T09:07:00.000-04:00

Here I was thinking that this week at work wouldn't be too bad since I took Monday off to play some golf. A four-day work week. That should be simple enough. WRONG!

We got slammed this week. I arrested two people Tuesday afternoon on gun charges. It was part of an on-going investigation I'm doing with Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The ICE guys are a lot of fun to work with. But I'll get into that another time.

Wednesday was just all around busy with paperwork and junk like that (I could barely see my desk), but at least I managed to get out at a respectable hour and made it to Happy Hour.

Yesterday was non-stop. Early yesterday morning some fuckwad decided it would be a good idea to hit a Deputy Sheriff with his car in the parking garage of the courthouse. Fortunately the deputy wasn't seriously hurt (treated and released from the hospital). The asshole that did it was already a known violent offender and it was all a matter of time before we found him. When we did find him, which was around mid-afternoon, he led us on a brief chase (God forbid you just give up), and then slammed into a few cars before he was finally caught. In addition to already being wanted for armed robbery, he added attempted first degree murder and first degree assault on a law enforcement officer to his resume. Swell guy, indeed.

Anyhow, I found it funny that local TV news reporter Darcy Spencer, who is freakishly short, by the way, was on the scene as quickly as she was. She managed to get there with her camera crew before some of the cops did. Nice work Darcy. So, of course, I managed to get my mug on the TV news last night. I guess the 5 or so seconds I appear in the background makes me a celebrity since my phone started ringing off the hook from friends calling to say that they saw me. Yeah, I'll be hiring an agent this afternoon and joining the Screen Actors Guild on Monday.

If anyone cares to see it, you can check it out at www.nbc4.com and click on the video for the story "Man Arrested After Deputy Struck With Car." And for those of you who don't know what I look like, the only hint you'll get is that I'm tall and I'm not wearing a uniform. That should narrow it down. No autographs, please.

Oh, and as an aside, today marks my 12 year anniversary in law enforcement. Where has the time gone? Seems like only yesterday that I was a snot-nosed rookie out writing traffic tickets. Oh, wait, yesterday was much more exciting than that.

I'm All About A Rant

2006-06-12T21:01:00.000-04:00

You know, despite what anyone might think, I'm not always that negative a guy. I do, at times, try to see the positive in things. For example, I played golf today, drank several tasty beers and now I'm watching the hockey game while chowing down on some of the best buffalo wings on the planet. Now if that's not positive, I don't know what is.

Having said that, I do feel the need to make some remarks about an article I read in the news today.

I read a piece about how Army troops have been deployed to the U.S. / Mexico border in and attempt to curtail the illegal border crossings. Well, "officially," the troops are there to do various other tasks such as road repair, and the like, but are not permitted to detain migrants. Right, we're really going to send military troops to the border in order to fix some roadways. Sure. But you know what? I don't care what kind of ridiculous reason is given. I'm glad they're there and I'm glad that they're having some impact on the illegal crossings.

Let me tell you folks, I deal with illegals EVERY SINGLE DAY. And that's no exaggeration. I've arrested illegals for all kinds of stuff ranging from misdemeanor theft to felony assault and attempted murder. I've said this before, and I'll say it again ('cause I actually still mean it). I have no problems with "Hard Working Julio" who wants to make a better life for him and his family. I could care less about his immigration status. That is until Julio decides to be an incredible fucking asshole. You know, get incredibly drunk, start a fight and stab some other dude in the left eye (yeah, that's kind of happened before - sorry for being so graphic). I have a huge problem with Julio when he acts like that.

My point (I, do, occasionally, have one), is this. People actually had the nerve to complain that the troops' presence at the border crossing was really deterring the immigration. Really? You don't say? Um, perhaps I'm totally missing the point here, but, um, wasn't that the whole fucking point?! Why do people feel the need to complain about steps being taken to make sure that people don't go breaking laws? And it's not even that I'm some big flag waving, incredibly zealous, patriot. I'm really not. I love my country, but I also love good common sense.

I just couldn't imagine moving to a foreign country and expecting them to bend over backwards to accommodate me and my American friends. If I gathered an ass-load of my friends and family together and decided to move to Prauge, we would most certainly learn Czech. Why? Because that's the fucking language of the country we've decided to live in! If we decided to pack up and move to San Salvador, the same principal would apply. I guess what I'm saying is this: If I decided to sneak into a country and set up house, and the national language is something other than English, I would make every effort to learn the language of the land. Sure, it's bad enough that I entered the country illegally in the first place, I wouldn't make things significantly worse by insisting that the natives speak my language instead of theirs. My hypocrisy only goes but so far.

The rant, and the first intermission, is over. Go in peace.

The Name Game

2006-06-08T11:37:00.000-04:00

OK, I couldn't possibly make this up if I tried. Funny and scary all at the same time.

I was sent to investigate a child neglect complaint - which, of course, isn't funny. According to our complainant, his baby's mother is a crackhead and she leaves their little baby girl alone in the apartment while she's out scoring some rock. So I go over to the apartment to find out what the deal is.

When I get there, I literally arrive at the door at the same time Cracky McCrackhead does. I don't really know where she's coming from, but she looks like a train wreck so I'm assuming she's coming back from a two day bender.

Anyhow, I tell her why I'm there, get a little ghetto attitude from her (which I promptly put a stop to 'cause we all know I'm never in the mood for that shit), and then we go in to check on the little girl. The kid, fortunately, seems fine, healthy, fed, clean clothes, etc. But since the kid's father is making an allegation, I have to collect some information and forward a report to Child Protective Services so that they can follow-up. So here was a part of my conversation with Baby's Mamma:

Me: How old is the child?

Crack Whore: 2

Me: Does anyone else live her besides you and the little girl?

CW: Some of my sister's people stays here sometimes (WTF does that mean??!)

Me: What is the child's name?

CW: Ikea.

Me (perplexed look on face): Ikea? And it's spelled "I-K-E-A?"

CW: Yeah.

Me: You named your daughter after a Scandinavian furniture store?

CW: A what?

Me (shaking head ruefully): Never mind.

That officially takes the #1 spot on my all time fucked up things to name your kid list. That spot was previously held by a young man named "LaBron Da'Vic (I don't even remember what his last name was 'cause it's totally irrelevant).

Kids Are Fun

2006-06-06T09:59:00.000-04:00

I'm totally digging being an uncle. It's even better now that my brother and sister in-law have moved back to this area from Pittsburgh. With them living in PA, I hadn't had much of a chance to spend any time with my nephew. And now I have a neice, as well. She's only a few months old and still doesn't quite understand what an Uncle Pat is, but my 2 year old nephew (pictured here in my police car) is all about Uncle Pat.

He's at that age right now where he's completely obsessed with keys and cars. Every time I see him, he must hold on to my car keys. And if he has the chance, he wants to get in my car and play. He totally digs playing in my police car ever since I showed him how to turn the lights and stuff on. I won't show him how to turn on the siren because it's pretty damn loud and I don't need to go scaring the bejezzes out of the poor kid. I had the worst time trying to explain to him that the MDC (mobile data computer) in my police car doesn't play the same Blue's Clues game that my brother apparently has for him on their computer at home. But so as not to toally disappoint the guy, I let him talk on my (turned off) police radio.

My brother told me that me Jack, my nephew, likes to play with his daddy's SWAT stuff, so I got mine out of the trunk so he could have some fun. Unfortunately his little head wouldn't be able to support the weight of my Kevlar helmet, 'cause that would've made for a kick ass picutre, but here he is with Uncle Pat's vest on. Although I'm not sure I want little Jack to go following in the footsteps of his dad and his Uncle Pat and getting into police work, I'm glad that he's having fun playing junior cop. He does look like he's ready to kick in some doors, though, doesn't he? "Freeze scumbag! Bring me some juice!"

Getting Back To Normal

2006-06-02T22:09:00.000-04:00

First of all, thanks to everyone who left comments, sent e-mails and the like regarding my dad. I appreciate it.

The past couple of weeks have almost been a blur. Between hospital visits, working a lot and making every second of what little free time I've had count, I sometimes don't know where the time has gone. I had to look at the calendar a bunch of times today before it sunk in that it was actually June.

But things are starting to get back to normal. Or at least the small amount of normalcy that my life usually has. Work is still keeping me exceptionally busy, but at least I'm getting into some really good cases (which, sadly, I can't discuss here right now), so I'll enjoy working on that stuff. The amount of silly bullshit that my bosses have me doing has dropped significantly - I guess the bullshit well is running dry, but I won't complain about that.

With things (sort of) slowing down, I get to look forward to some goof off time. I'm all about that, as we all know. I'm thinking that tomorrow would be a good time to take a few hours to play music really loud, perhaps watch stupid TV, or even do a whole lot of nothing. I'm sure I'll come up with a good way to pass the time.

Anyhow, I should be able to get back to posting on a somewhat regular basis. So stay tuned mi amigos, you never know what happens next.

Sorry Everyone

2006-05-28T00:07:00.000-04:00

I know I have legions of fans who tune in regularly to see what kind of witty banter I'm going to throw out there for you. But lately I've been slacking.

Without going into all the details, my father has cancer, and has for some time. He was hospitalized a week and a half ago and is thankfully home now, but there are still a lot of things to deal with.

So, having said that, I can't promise frequent posts right now. I'll do my best to come up with something to write about, but there's just a ton of stuff going on right now. Thanks for understanding.

P.

I Don't Like Karaoke

2006-05-20T13:50:00.000-04:00

But I enjoy the hell out of singing my fool head off in the living room.

It's a talent I don't like to admit I have, but I can, in fact, carry a tune. I was in a band for awhile and sang some back-up. I'm not about to try out for American Idol - I would liken being a contestant on AI to being out for a romantic evening with Bea Arthur. I might not be Taylor Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is, but I'm not William Hung either. (Although I can do a wicked impression of him singing "She Bangs" - another talent I'm not sure I should be admitting).

Anyhow, the point is, I've been enjoying my Saturday off by torturing the dog in the living room with my guitar playing and singing. I'm all about cranking up the stereo and playing along. I could literally waste hours doing that, but I have to remind myself that the house won't clean itself (much to my chagrin). So I played for around an hour or so and found some great stuff on my iPod to entertain myself (and Jake) with.

Since I know everyone is dying to know (yeah, right) what's on the Hi-Fi at Casa de P., here's the short list:

Staind - "Right Here" - I don't care how many times I hear it or play it, it's one of the coolest songs I've heard in a long time
Everclear - "Song From An American Movie Pt. 2" - never heard it on the radio, probably never will, but it's a great song nonetheless
Goo Goo Dolls - "Dizzy" - just a really fun song to play
Crowded House - "Better Be Home Soon" - definitely from the "oldie but a goodie" category. One of their absolute best.
Remy Zero - "Prophecy" - another really fun one to play
Switchfoot - "We Are One Tonight" - it's catchy and fun
Coldplay - "Shiver" - the version from "Live 2003" kicks ass

I Shouldn't Find This Funny

2006-05-16T12:59:00.000-04:00

Well, actually, it's not so much the event that I find funny (because it really isn't), but I think the statement regarding it is pretty damn hilarious.

I just read an article about some Sloth bears in a zoo in the Netherlands who chased down a Barbary macaque (a large monkey), attacked it and ate it in front of horrified zoo visitors. Apparently those animals have shared the same enclosure at the zoo for quite some time. Yeah, splendid idea guys. I guess it never occurred to anyone that bears attack smaller animals and eat them, huh? But I found the remark made by a zoo official to be kind of funny:

"In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."

Really? The harmony was "temporarily disturbed," huh? They coexisted peacefully until the monkey tried to stiff them on a bet and the bears had to teach him a lesson. I suppose the harmony was quickly restored when the other animals and zoo visitors burst into an impromptu version of Cumbaya. And all was well and good once again. But just to be on the safe side, the surviving monkeys were moved to a different enclosure where their harmonious existence wouldn't be threatened.

In a related story, the National Zoo here in Washington has decided to cancel its plans to have Tai-Shan the panda share its enclosure with a Komodo Dragon.

My Weekend in Review

2006-05-15T01:04:00.000-04:00

Saturday night I, along with a good friend from work, went downtown to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial for the annual candlelight vigil. For anyone that's never been to it, it's a very hard experience to describe, but I'll do my best.

At 8PM the ceremony begins at the memorial. Plenty of guest speakers (the Attorney General of the United States is almost always one of them - this year was no exception), and people singing inspirational songs and all the formality that goes along with that kind of event. Thousands of police officers from all over the country (including some from Canada, Australia and the UK) raising candles to salute those who have fallen. It is a very moving experience every time I go there. I took some pictures which I'll try to post sometime soon.

But after the formal ceremony has ended, picture one gigantic happy hour that consumes about a half a city block. After we've all paid our respects at the memorial wall, we walk a couple blocks down "H" St. to an area that's been fenced off and set up as a big ol' beer garden. Music, food from the largest grill I've ever seen, and plenty o' suds to keep the crowd happy. Oh, and I can't forget about the drummers and bagpipes - VERY cool indeed. "We have a piper who's down....don't worry, he's just pissed."

This year I told myself that I wasn't going to stay out too late since I had to get up early this morning and drive out to my parents' house for Mother's Day brunch. Do I listen to myself, though? Of course not. I ran into some people I knew whilst toasting the bagpipers and we all decided to hit the pub after the beer tent stopped selling for the night. (Honestly, last call at 11:30 is just wrong!). So we walked down (staggered a bit) a few blocks to my favorite watering hole in the city - Fado. I should own stock in that place. Have a few pints in there, wander around the corner for some late-night Chinese, then it's into the Metro station just in time to catch the last train out of the city. Fortunately for me I live within walking distance of a Metro rail station so I have the luxury of heading downtown, enjoying some nightlife and getting my sorry ass home without having to be concerned about DUIs and such.

Anyhow, since I was out way too late doing my best Tipsy McStagger impression, I didn't get to bed until around 4AM. But I still managed (somehow) to get up on time and make it out to Mom's for brunch. I even remembered the card and flowers! Damn, I'm a good son sometimes. Saturday night I was reminded why I love doing what I do for a living and Sunday morning I was reminded why I have one of the coolest mom's on the planet (that tasty brunch really hit the spot!).

Cleanliness Rocks!

2006-05-12T13:22:00.000-04:00

I decided to take a few hours out of my day to give the ol' hacienda a good cleaning. Sadly, this place won't clean itself and I'm not independently wealthy enough to afford maid service. So I gotta do what I gotta do. I refuse to live like some effin' slob. A female friend of mine once described me as the cleanest straight guy she knows. Thanks? Not sure what to make of that remark, actually. And of course, today as I'm cleaning, I didn't hear the phone over the vacuum cleaner. When I realized I'd missed a call, I promptly returned it. It was my friend/co-worker, Brian.

Brian: "Where were you? Why didn't you answer the phone?" (he called all of three minutes earlier).
Me: "Sorry man, I was running the vacuum cleaner."
Brian: "You're such a domestic bitch. You're gonna make someone a good wife one day."
Me: "Fuck you, Otis (one of his ridiculous nicknames). What do you want?"

The point here isn't so much how clean my house is, how much shit my friends give me or how heterosexual I happen to be. It's that I managed to crank out some great tunes from my library that I hadn't heard in awhile. I enjoy rediscovering old favorites. Heard some great stuff from the Smithereens ("Kiss Your Tears Away" will always be one of the coolest songs on the planet), Soul Asylum, Crowded House, Michael Penn, and Everclear - just to name a few.

So now my place is all cleaned up, the music is still cranking out and I'm in a pretty damn good mood. I think it's a good time to break out one (or more) of the guitars and have some fun. Playing rock star in my living room is good fun. All I need to do now is teach Jake - my roadie-dog - how to get groupies.

I'm Not Nearly That Important

2006-05-11T15:23:00.000-04:00

Technically, I've been on leave from work since 5PM yesterday afternoon. I put in for a much-needed break and I won't be going back to work until next Wednesday.

Since I left work yesterday afternoon, I've received 4 phone calls from work. All of them started off with "Uh, I know you're on vacation, but...."

In some ways, it's nice to know I'm needed around the office. It's good to have that kind of job security. But I refuse to think that the place will be taking a nose-dive into hell while I'm gone. Being the helpful guy that I am, I answered the questions that were thrown my way. Then I promptly turned off my cell phone (which is something I haven't done in a long time). I figure that if it's really that important, they'll have to look up my home # (almost everyone calls my cell phone). If someone at work really needs to ask me a question, I'm going to make them work for it!

Now I'm going to get back to enjoying my day off. I have a whole bunch of nothing planned, so I'd better get to it.

Oh, and thanks to everyone who left nice remarks and sent e-mails about my last post. I, and everyone else in my line of work, appreciate those thoughts.

Solidarity

2006-05-09T08:08:00.000-04:00

Normally, I try to throw some humor in what I write here. Sorry to disappoint everyone today, but this isn't going to be very funny.

Yesterday afternoon three police officers were shot outside of a Fairfax County (VA) police station - not far from here. Sadly, a 40 year old detective, a mother of two, was killed.

I don't know this officer. Never met her. But she was "one of us." And I, along with thousands of other police officers in the region (if not the country) will mourn her loss. I have a "mourning band" (an elastic black band) which I will slide over my badge today and wear in her honor.

Coincidentally, National Police Officer Memorial Day is coming up on Monday, the 15th. For those of you who have never heard of it, President Kennedy proclaimed May 15th as a day for remembering fallen police officers. The National Law Enforcement Memorial is in Washington, DC (take the Metro to Judiciary Square and it's at the top of the escalator). Every year names are added to the wall there to honor those killed in the line of duty. It's a very powerful thing to see, especially this time of year. I will go there next week and see all the flowers, teddy bears, and notes from children placed on the wall next to the names of their loved ones who are gone.
Too many names are being added to that wall this year. And next year the Fairfax officer will have her name placed on it.

Yesterday afternoon an officer, wife and mother lost her life because an 18 year old fuckwad, who was arrested last month for committing a carjacking, apparently sought some kind of revenge on the police. Revenge is something you seek when you've been wronged, not caught. And although I'm glad that he was also killed in the gunfire, that doesn't make me the least bit happy about what happened.

I'm writing this for a reason. Not to solicit thanks for what I do for a living or anything like that. What I want anyone who reads this to think about is this:

At some point you'll hear (or have probably already heard) someone say something about the "fucking police" giving them a ticket or something. Yeah, we write tickets, but we also risk dying in an effort to protect people we don't even know - people like you. So when someone starts talking trash about us because they screwed up and got caught, you tell them to go fuck themselves, pay the fine, and be glad we're around.

Life Does Imitate Art

2006-05-06T23:05:00.000-04:00

Or at least it does tonight.

I was watching a favorite movie of mine today (or at least part of it before I had to go to work) - Sideways. Damn good film and I think Paul Giamatti really does a hell of a job (he's come a long way since his role as "Pig Vomit" in Howard Stern's "Private Parts").

The only problem with watching that film is that it always, and I mean ALWAYS makes me thirsty. So although I only caught about 20 minutes of the movie today, it inspired me to go buy some more wine. You can never have too much of that around, I think.

So now I'm back home, work day is (finally) over. Once I got in the front door and let Jake outside, I couldn't open up a bottle fast enough. (wow, that makes me sound like a drunk, doesn't it?). I have a pretty tasty bottle of Shiraz to enjoy, great music playing loud on the stereo and some great Chinese take-out. It's nice that I don't have to work tomorrow so I can sit here, enjoy my take-out and polish of this bottle of wine (yeah, that part made me sound like a drunk). Cheers!

Another Round of....

2006-05-04T02:35:00.000-04:00

....Magnificence!

Since I'm such a good sport, I'm going to bang out another five things that I think are magnificent about me. I'm trying really hard to find some balance here. I want to list things that I like about myself without having it come across like "dig me, I'm so friggin' cool," (which I am, but I just can't come right out and say it - that would be wrong). Here goes:

I have good manners - I know how to say "please" and "thank you"
I have exceptional taste when it comes to beer and coffee (does this really count? well, to me it does)
I don't look at subordinates at work as being "beneath me." They are my equals that need my help and decision making skills sometimes
I'm fair. I make efforts to see and understand other people's points - even if I don't exactly agree with them, I won't simply dismiss them as being "wrong"
If I earn someone's trust, I take it seriously

Yeah, this "List o' Five" doesn't get any easier as I go along. It took me about 20 minutes to come up with that stuff. I'm afraid that the Magnificent Well might be running a little dry. We'll see if/what I can come up with tomorrow.

Hmmmm.....

2006-05-03T01:56:00.000-04:00

I was looking over a friend's blog today and saw that she'd issued a challenge to her readers to come up with a list of 5 "magnificent" things about themselves each day for the first week of this month. Of course, I'm willing to give it a shot, but I don't always post here on a daily basis, so I offer up no guarantees that I'll be able to have something every day. Hell, I'm already starting a day late so I've already got it screwed up! I'm not sure how "magnificent" (which, by the way, is not exactly my favorite adjective - along with "splendid") any of this stuff is, but here goes:

I have a wicked, yet sometimes dry, sense of humor
I'm very musical - not only do I have a TON to listen to, I can play a lot on my guitars
I'm exceptionally tall (hey, I like that about me)
I not only do not have a criminal record, I have a great career in law enforcement (that should count as two things, but they're kind of related to one another so I'll only count it as one)
Although I don't have a college degree, I consider myself to be pretty smart/educated

Coincidentally, this is a lot of the same stuff I'd write down if I were placing an online personal ad. So do you think if I wrote the same shit out on eharmony.com that Dr. Neil Clark Warren (who strikes me as being VERY creepy) would think I'm magnificent, too?

If I Were Songs

2006-04-30T14:03:00.000-04:00

A friend had this nifty little thing on their blog recently, a kind of "fill in the blanks" item that I don't normally find that interesting, but this one caught my eye. Thought I'd give it a try. And trust me when I tell you, it's harder than it looks (took me damn near half an hour to work it out).

Pick a band and answer the questions using the band's song titles.

1. Name of band/artist: U2
2. Are you male or female?: Drowning Man
3. Describe yourself: Mysterious Ways
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Stuck In A Moment
5. Describe your ex-girlfriend: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
6. Describe current girlfriend (wife): I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
7. Describe where you want to be: Where The Streets Have No Name
8. Describe how you live: Staring At The Sun
9. Describe how you love: All I Want Is You
10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?: Even Better Than The Real Thing
11. Share a few words of Wisdom: Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own
12. Now say goodbye: Exit

It's "Work Horse," Not "Work Whore"

2006-04-30T01:42:00.000-04:00

Or at least I'm pretty sure that's the correct term.

I had the weekend off, so what do I do? I went to work tonight. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the cash. I work my ass off all week long (trust me, I have no ass), and you think I'd take advantage of at least a 2 day break from it. Of course not. Am I a dedicated employee, or just stupid? It's probably more like I'm a money grubbing whore. I don't have that printed on my business cards, and I'm sure it won't look great on a resume, but at least I can admit it.

Of course, there are upsides and downsides. The upside, of course, is that my wallet is a little heavier for the effort. I'd like to say that I went in tonight because I'm such a fine employee, but the bottom line is - it's all about me. Cha-Ching!

The downsides are that I could've (and probably should've) just stayed home and relaxed. This week was kind of stressful at work. And I missed a couple more playoff hockey games.

I love the playoffs. Even though Washington didn't make it this year (and we all know they will next year, right?), it's still great fun to watch. I'm totally digging two and sometimes three games on per day. Of course today I only got to watch one before I had to go to work. But it was a good one. New Jersey eliminated the Rangers and swept the series. HA! There are only a few guys at work besides me that are hockey fans. One of the street supervisors is a die-hard Rangers fan, and he's quite smug about it. All season I got to hear about how friggin' great Jagr has been for the Rangers (and we all know he was crap as a Capital). It's unfortunate that I won't get to see that smug little grin on his face Monday. I'll make sure I wear black so that I can show my sympathy for his loss. I'm good like that.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. The other downside to working on a Saturday night. No place to go for a drink afterward. By the time I got home (1AM), there was no point in trying to get to my favorite watering holes. But I suppose I'll manage with a couple bottles of my favorite brew and my trusty pint glass. I can crank up the stereo and it's the next best thing. Necessity is truly the mother of invention. Cheers!

Sprechen Zie Espanol?

2006-04-27T23:07:00.000-04:00

When I was younger I thought it would be a great idea to learn German in high school and college. So I did. What the hell was I thinking? I've never really put it to any practical use. Not sure that I ever will (at least not without actually going to Germany).

Over the past several years, it's become an occupational necessity for me to learn Spanish. Look around you folks. No big secret that the Hispanic population in the Metropolitan area has grown tremendously over the past 5 years.

Now, I used to be one of those people that would say "I shouldn't have to learn Spanish, they should learn English!" And I still adhere to that philosophy, but it's just not practical. So I've gone out of my way to learn some Spanish. In some ways it's made my job easier, but there are a couple hang-ups I have with it.

It's been my experience that good old Pedro won't "comprende" when he knows he's in some form of trouble with the Policia. Part of me can appreciate that, but here's my big issue. If I say something to Pedro in English and get the "I no understand" response, fine. If I say the exact same thing to Pedro in Spanish and he still acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about, that just pisses me off. If you speak Spanish, and I say something to you in Spanish (correctly, I might add), you'd better not look at me like I've got 8 heads. Get past the shock that the big Gringo cop can habla, and answer my question.

Another thing I can't quite wrap my head around is that some of these guys don't know their own birth date. I mean, I'll ask in English, get that look, then ask again in Spanish. And I honestly believe that they don't have a clue sometimes. How do you not know something like that??? They know enough to tell me how old they are, but can't possibly come up with the month and day they were born. Of course, thinking about it now, that's a pretty cool parent trick I guess. Don't tell little Javier what his birthday is and you can save a ton of cash every year on all those cards and gifts you don't need to buy.

Oh, and as an aside - I've seen a number of Hispanic dudes sporting NHL shirts, jerseys and hats lately. That always makes me laugh since 99% of the guys I see wearing that stuff don't realize they're wearing hockey apparel. A couple weeks ago I saw a guy wearing a Flyers t-shirt and I couldn't resist. I walked over to him and said "Hey man, you think Forsberg is going to put up good points in the playoffs?" Yeah, I had 8 heads again.

Viva la Stupido! Guten abend mi amigo.

Exhaustion Is My Friend

2006-04-21T14:47:00.000-04:00

OK, so I've been a bit lousy about posting lately. I know this is a poor excuse, but I haven't really had the time.

I've been working entirely too much this past couple months. My "normal" job of sleuthing, detecting crime, arresting the dregs of society has been keeping me extremely busy. More so than usual. In this past week alone we've had to deal with a higher-than-usual number of idiots with guns. I'm not sure how to feel about all that. One the bright side, it's good that we're finding these guns and taking them off the street, right? On the other side of that coin, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting a bit nervous about the amount of guns we're finding. Hell, just last night I recovered three handguns. You heard it here first people. Politicians who tell you that crime is down are LYING! Oh, and not that I'm looking to touch off some fiery debate about the issue, but I think it's important to point out that four of the six guns I've recovered in the past week were in the hands of illegal immigrants. Yes, not only are they here when they shouldn't be, they're armed. Sleep tight!

Anyway, I got a little sidetracked there. The whole point to this is that I'm beat. I'm absolutely exhausted. I started my day yesterday at 7AM. I got home this morning right around 6AM. Long day? Hell yeah. Not only has the crime fighting increased, but my boss has been away since early February in a 10 week training class (hope he learned something). He's due back May 1st and it can't come sooner. In his absence I've had to assume some additional responsibilities in the office. I like staying busy at work, but this has been ridiculous. Once the boss is back, I'm taking a few days off to recharge the batteries and get things done around the house. The biggest downside right now to working so much (aside from the level of exhaustion) - my lawn looks like shit. I'd better go work on that.

I Must Rant About This

2006-03-21T11:41:00.000-05:00

I've been following a story in the Washington Post about a Charles County (MD) Sheriff's deputy who shot and killed a man over this past weekend.

Apparently the deputy, along with two other Sheriff's deputies, found this guy passed out in a car which was parked (still running) over a curb right next to a building that it had almost struck. They managed to wake the driver and had reason to believe that he was under the influence of alcohol. Not an unrealistic scenario at all, if you ask me.

What happened next is the source of some controversy. According to the Sheriff's Office, the suspect, after having failed field sobriety testing, was being placed under arrest and began to resist. At some point, the suspect draws and fires a handgun, which fortunately doesn't strike anyone. A deputy draws his service weapon, fires one round, striking the suspect in the chest. The suspect is flown to a hospital and pronounced dead shortly after arrival.

In my opinion, that sounds like a completely justified police shooting. In the same situation, I would've done the exact same thing.

Now, the victim's family and friends are all clamoring that he was a "good young man, trying to get his life on the right track." They even went so far as to imply that the Sheriff's deputies killed him simply "because he was a young black man." Let me be perfectly clear on this. That is all a huge load of horse shit!

From the Washington Post:

"Since 1999, (the suspect) had been found guilty of assault, possessing marijuana and cocaine, carrying a handgun, driving on a revoked license and attempting to elude police, court documents show. During a 2000 arrest for marijuana possession, he ran from a car into the woods in Waldorf, the records show, and police used a K-9 team to find him behind a tree."

So, the suspect, who was only 22 years old, had managed to rack up a slew of charges (and convictions) that include having a handgun. So him having a gun this past Saturday morning is so far fetched? I don't think so. In an article in yesterday's paper regarding the shooting, a family member actually implied that it was the deputies' fault the shooting took place because he had apparently not been searched for a gun. I got news for you folks, we aren't permitted, by the Constitution of the United States, to search people unless there is probable cause to do so. Being suspected of DUI isn't probable cause. However, once someone is placed under arrest, which the deputies were attempting to do, police are permitted to perform what's referred to as a "search incident to arrest," at which time I'm sure the handgun would've been found on him. But all of that is irrelevant. He had a gun, he knew he had a gun. He had a history of run-ins with the police in that area. Another theory advanced by his family was that the local police were tired of always dealing with him and were looking for a reason to kill him. How amazingly absurd is that???

The bottom line is this. The man had a gun, fired it when deputies tried to arrest him. The deputy, doing what any one of us in our line of work would do, shot him. The friends and family can try to shift the blame all they want. The fact of the matter is, if this guy didn't have a gun on him, much less fired a round from it when he was being arrested, he'd still be alive. It had nothing to do with the color of his skin (trust me, I'll shoot whitey in a heartbeat under the same circumstances), or the fact that he hadn't been properly searched by the deputies at that point. The notion that if they'd searched him better they would've found the gun and none of this would have happened is a ridiculous argument.

"He was trying to turn his life around." Bullshit. Trying to turn one's life around usually doesn't involve wrecking your car while pissed up drunk and firing your gat at the police. But what the hell do I know?

Waiting....

2006-03-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

..... is something I've never been particularly good at. I can readily admit that I'm not always the most patient person in the world. I'm not always proud of that little character flaw, but at least I can admit it.

That being said, it's now 11:15 AM and I'm sitting here waiting for the repair guy to show up and (hopefully) fix my washing machine that decided to stop working over a week ago. If I have to go to my parents' house again to do laundry, I think I'll scream. I love you Mom, but hanging around your house for four and a half hours on a Saturday afternoon waiting for my clothes to get clean while you watch the Home Shopping Network (or whatever the hell that channel is) isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Coin laundry? Oh, I don't think so. Around these parts, it's a half a billion screaming kids and all-Telemundo-all-the-time. I'd rather keep buying new clothes than hit the coin laundry around here.

So, I've been doing my best to occupy my time during the 8AM to Noon, "Window of opportunity" when Mr. Fix-It is supposed to show up. I've vacuumed, cleaned the coffee maker, and other assorted cleaning tasks around the hacienda. Of course I've managed to screw around some, too. Spent about an hour browsing stuff on iTunes. And I decided that I'm going to buy a new amplifier for my bass guitar. Been meaning to upgrade for awhile and I think I finally found one that's worth the $. So I'll probably be heading out to the guitar store this weekend to part with some more of my hard earned cash. Worth every penny, though.

OK, time to go find something else to waste time with. He's got another half hour to get here. Tick, tock.

Better....And Worse

2006-03-15T23:21:00.000-05:00

OK, so my back finally got with the program and isn't keeping me awake and night and walking like friggin' Frankenstein during the day. That's all well and good. But I found myself slipping into a bit of a funk earlier in the week (actually, it was one hell of a funk) and although I feel fine physically, my head is a mess.

I don't really talk much about it anymore (since I'm not really sure what the point would be if I did), but I still find myself thinking about how my life took a drastic and unplesant change at the begining of this year. And that change will necessitate more change in the near future. (I don't expect that to make sense to anyone that doesn't know me or my situation). There are several things about that whole episode that I've dealt with and have become okay with. There are some things that I'm still not okay with. Sometimes it gets hard to deal.

But I wake up everyday and go through my routine as best as I can. I'd like to sit here and think it will get better, but I think that if I don't expect too much, I can't be let down. So I just subscribe to the philosophy that "it is what it is," and maybe, just maybe, I'll get stuff worked out.

Then I stop myself and think about a particular friend of mine who has been extremely supportive of me with all that's gone on. My friend recently lost someone very near and dear to her. Although I feel like I can relate to that, it's a different kind of loss entirely. And her loss is easily a million times bigger than mine. I need to get my head out of my ass and be a better friend to her. She was there for me. I need to be there for her. Last time I checked, that's what friends do for each other, right?

People say "it gets worse before it gets better." I think I've had my fair share of the worse part, and my friend certainly has, too. Time for things to get better.

It Figures

2006-03-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

The first really nice day we've had in a while and I'm stuck inside.

I managed to somehow pinch a nerve in my back yesterday and aggravated the hell out of it during a foot chase with a fuckin' drug dealer. Sadly, he got away, but I managed to get all his dope and his cell phone that he managed to drop along the way. I'll be seeing you soon, "Six Deuce." (I'm not kidding, that's what his cell phone said his name was - yeah, I work in the ghetto).

So I made good friends with Mr. Heating Pad last night and again today. I did manage to sleep pretty well last night, having warded off the pain with a cocktail of muscle relaxers, super-duper pain relievers and a couple Sam Adams'. OK, I know you're not supposed to consume alcohol with prescription medication, but I was in pain, damnit!

I've managed to do very little today, which I guess I'm okay with. I don't have much pain when I'm sitting down, it's the whole walking around thing that messes me up. It's feeling better today though, and hopefully will be fine by tomorrow. I'd hate to go through the whole weekend on the injured reserve.

I figure I'll wander downstairs and play around on the guitar a bit. Haven't done that in awhile since I've been so busy with work. Now would be a good chance to capitalize on my down time.

Gotta go play rock star now.

Surreal? Or Just Plain Stupid?

2006-03-03T20:41:00.000-05:00

I was up entirely too late last night talking with a good friend from Ohio. Marissa is one of my oldest and dearest friends in the world. You know, one of those friends that's moved halfway across the country and back, someone you haven't physically seen in years, but can still pick up the phone and talk to like you ran into them yesterday. Now that we've established who I was talking to, let's get on to what we were talking about - it's pretty damn funny (at least it was to us).

I can't for the life of me remember how the hell we even got on the subject (especially since I'm hardly a fan of the show), but we started talking about that ridiculous show on VH1, "The Surreal Life." We quickly decided that it would be in our best interest to form our own "Surreal World" casts - the "C" and "D" List celebrities that we'd like to have on our own version of the show. After much thought (I haven't had this much trouble picking teams since I played volleyball in school), a few beers and too many laughs, we came up with our own Ultimate Surreal World casts. If anyone from VH1 is listening, pay attention, these will get you an assload of ratings.

My List:

Gedde Watanabe - "Long Duk Dong" from 'Sixteen Candles' (How cool would he be on the show, right?)
Demond Wilson - "Lamont" from TV's 'Sanford & Son' ("You big dummy!")
Jan-Michael Vincent - from TV's "Airwolf" (I figured he could use a paycheck)
"Macho Man" Randy Savage - my way of trying to save a washed up pro wrestler from having to do Slim Jim commercials for the rest of his life
Katherine Helmond - "Mona" from 'Who's the Boss?' (at first I thought she was dead and I'd have to pick someone else, but fortunately she's still alive and I would imagine her calendar is free enough to participate in the show)
Juice Newton - we decided that we needed a musician in our casts and she was the first obscure musician I could think of (I actually couldn't stop laughing for 5 solid minutes after selecting good old Juice)
Mayim Bialik - TV's "Blossom" (it was a toss up between her and k.d. lang)

I'm pretty proud of my list of 7 strangers picked to live in a house......blah, blah, whatever the hell else they say about the show. Moving right along.....

Marissa's List:

Ben Stein - OK, so Ben isn't a "C" or "D" list celebrity, but we both agreed that he'd be completely cool to have as a cast member
"Dog" the Bounty Hunter - this was 100% Marissa's pick and I still think it was hilarious
Tina Yothers - from TV's "Family Ties" (just like my #3, I'm sure she needs the work)
Darva Conger - Marissa wanted a completely stupid and annoying woman in her cast. I suggested Fran Drescher, but was vetoed in favor of this knucklehead
Kip Winger - Marissa's choice for the "musician." We all remember "Winger" from the 80's, don't we?
William Hung - boil on the ass of American Idol. I don't know why she chose this guy. Maybe because it would be fun to watch "Dog" kick his ass, I dunno.
David Soul - good call picking "Hutch," but I guess Starsky has to find his own work

Looking back on last night's conversation, we probably did spend entirely too much time talking about this incredibly stupid concept of a show, but it was damn funny. Although I'm sure it was a lot funnier when we were talking about it that it is to be reading about it now. Maybe it was the beer - who knows? I just thought I'd share. Any Exec's with VH1 can feel free to e-mail me and we can discuss my production fees, 'cause I think we all know I'm on to something here.

OOOOPS!

2006-02-28T23:26:00.000-05:00

After another long day at work, I'm heading home, later than usual. I needed to stop off at the grocery store and pick up some things - you know, essentials like a steak, a bag of pretzel sticks, some OJ and bread. Should be an easy enough thing to do. Although I'm not thrilled to have left work later than I should have, I'm consoled by the knowledge that I should be in and out of the store and home in time to make a quick bite to eat before the opening face off of the Capitals / Maple Leafs game. But things can't possibly go that smoothly for me, can they?

I pulled into the parking lot of the store behind another happy motorist. This brain surgeon is at least a couple car lengths in front of me. She spies someone getting ready to back out of a parking space, but she's already gone past it. So what does she do? Throws it in reverse and starts moving backward (quickly) toward me. I guess she didn't see those headlights behind her. And she obviously didn't hear me honking the air horn at her because (yep, you guessed it), BANG! She backs right into the front bumper of my police cruiser. Of course, I'm about as far from thrilled as I could be. I radio my dispatcher about the accident and then I contact the local police. I get out and talk to the other driver. At first she seems completely irritated by the fact that the police were called to come out an write an accident report. Then I have to state what should have been the obvious to her. "Uh, ma'am, you backed into a police car." That shut her up quickly. Sure, my car is unmarked, but only cab drivers, senior citizens and cops drive Ford Crown Victorias. And I'm clearly not the first two of those.

So the local constabulary comes out and gets all the information for the report and I get everything I need. Then I finally get to go in the store, buy my stuff and get my ass home.

I get home, let Jake outside, fix some dinner and crack open a beer (not exactly in that order). I was a couple minutes late turning the hockey game on, but I managed to salvage my evening.

Capitals 5, Maple Leafs 3. At least somebody won tonight.

Heavy Rotation 2/25/2006

2006-02-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

Since I know everyone is just dying to know what I'm listening to on my iPod these days, here is my list of my recent favorites:

"Right Here" - Staind - Always been a favorite band and their first track from their new CD is one of the best songs I've heard in a long time.
"Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" - The Killers - This song just rocks (or is it 'rawks?').
"Goodbye Again" - Vertical Horizon - OK, it's probably not the best song for me to be listening to post-break-up, but it's poignant and I really think it's a great song.
"Kite" - U2 - I don't care how many times I hear this song, it will never get old.
"Love Removal Machine (Peace Remix) - The Cult - I've had the CD with the original version of this song since I was in high school. Never knew an alternate version existed until I found it a couple weeks ago. I don't know why it's called "Peace Remix," but it's a very cool tune nonetheless.
"Talk" - Coldplay - What can I say? It's catchy & I think Coldplay is an amazing band.
"What About Everything?" - Carbon Leaf - I can't say enough about this one, you gotta check it out.
"Will I Ever Make It Home" - Ingram Hill - This one's a really good sing-along for me.

It just sort of occurred to me that I listen to a lot of music during the course of a day. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I get into so much, it would be difficult to list all the stuff I'm playing the hell out of lately. So this is definitely the short list.

As I sit here thinking about all the stuff I've been listening to, I can't help but think of Rob Gordon's (John Cusack's) line from "High Fidelity" - "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

You Can Never Have Too Many

2006-02-25T11:59:00.000-05:00

iPods.

I bought another one yesterday to replace my two year old, third generation model. And just like I said when I bought my first one - it's one of the best damn inventions known to man.

Ever since I bought my 20 GB model a couple years ago, I have used it almost on a daily basis. I bought the cassette adapter and a car mount/charger and I listen to it in my crusier at work constantly. (I still won't jump on the satellite radio bandwagon). Sadly, the one I bought 2 years ago was one of those in the batch plauged with battery issues. It's supposed to play for around 6 hours on a full charge. I'd be lucky to get 2 hours out of it. Plus, there would be times when I'd want to fast forward to the next song, only to have the iPod "reset" itself. I can't tell you how irritating it is to have to sit there and look at the Apple icon on the screen and have to wait a couple minutes for it to get it's shit together so I could continue listening to my music. I get a little impatient that way. I took it back to Best Buy twice and tried to get them to honor that product service/replacement plan that I bought along with the unit. They shipped it to God-knows-where last year and I was sans iPod for about a month. When I got it back, the paperwork they enclosed said it was tested and found to be in perfect working order. Bullshit. It still crapped out after a couple hours.

So anyway, I went back to Best Buy yesterday after work and finally broke down and got the new "Fifth Generation" iPod, 30 GB model. It's so damn cool, I can't even begin to describe it. Anyone that already owns one knows exactly what I'm talking about. I got the black one, which looks completely slick. The screen is larger, the unit is thinner and it's full color, baby! I'm totally digging how it displays the album cover art when the tracks play, too. I am, truly, a kid with his new toy.

Unfortunately I wasn't the lucky smuck that downloaded the one billionth song on iTunes. Apparently some teenager in Illinois or someplace out that way was. Lucky bastard won ten (yeah, 10!) of the 60 GB iPods, a $10,000 iTunes gift card (TEN FUCKING GRAND!!!!), and has the honor of having a scholorship established in his name at Julliard. All for downloading Coldplay's "Speed of Sound" for 99 cents. I'm not sure what I find sadder. The fact that a teenager gets all that neat shit or the fact that he didn't already own that Coldplay song. Either way, good for him, he managed to come away with some pretty nice stuff. Prick.

How The Hell Did I Do That?

2006-02-20T23:21:00.000-05:00

I'm laying here in my bed agonizing over the pain that is shooting through my back right now. I'm pretty sure that I've managed to pull a muscle, but I can't for the life of me figure out how I did it. I hate that. And I think we all know what I'm talking about here.

Ever had an injury and you just can't seem to explain how you sustained it? I can't count the number if times I've looked down at my hand and noticed that one of my fingers was bleeding. "I got cut?" A leg or an arm that's pretty damn sore, but you don't recall hitting it against anything, doing heavy lifting, etc. As if the injury itself wasn't annoying enough, it's made 10 times worse by the fact that you don't know how it happened.

So that's what I'm going through right now as I lay here waiting for that muscle relaxer to kick in. (Thank God for having some left over from a prescription filled last year). Of course, the pain will probably subside soon and I'll still be here wide awake still trying to figure out what I did to myself in the first place.

Well, chances are, I'll never figure it out, so I won't waste a lot of time trying. I'm just hoping that this pill does it's job soon or I'll be forced to take another one and wash it down with a cold beer (damn those warnings about consuming alcohol with the medication - I need to get some sleep tonight!).

I Object, Your Honor

2006-02-10T22:57:00.000-05:00

We have a saying where I work that gets used way too often. "Only in Prince George's."

I work in Prince George's County, Maryland, a suburb of the District of Columbia. Although the County government likes to use the phrase "Gorgeous Prince George's" when they're pimping their Chamber of Commerce brochures, make no mistake. Even a catchy slogan like that one (it is catchy, isn't it?) doesn't change the fact that it's one of the most violent counties in the country. We boasted a new record in the number of homicides last year. (I don't think they put that in the brochures, though).

Speaking of homicides, let me get back to my rant du jour.....

This past Monday I testified in a homicide trial for a man accused of beating another man to death with a baseball bat (while the victim was asleep in a La-Z-Boy recliner). Oh yeah, you can just imagine how nasty that scene was. I'll spare the details, but imagine smacking a grapefruit with a rolling pin. Same concept.

Anyway, I only had to testify on Monday and there were other witnesses scheduled to testify over the next day or so (all in all, it was a pretty open and shut case). The case was given to the jury to deliberate on Wednesday.

I was at the State's Attorney's Office on Thursday to meet with an attorney about a sex offense I'm working on when I happened to run into the prosecutor from the homicide trial.

"Did you hear what happened in our case?" she asks.

"Nope," I cleverly respond.

She then proceeds to tell me that the judge had to declare a mistrial. That kind of thing happens all the time, so I wasn't terribly surprised by that. What did surprise me was the reason. Apparently one of the jurors didn't understand English that well and was unable to properly participate in the deliberations.

Honestly, how the hell does this happen? I know there's a screening process in place for potential jurors and I know that they are asked a variety of questions before even being selected to be on the jury. And those questions come from both the prosecution AND the defense. So that means that this person's linguistic affliction went undetected by TWO trained trial attorneys. Scary thought.

So, on behalf of everyone, I'd like to say thank you to Consuela, Guadalupe or whatever the hell your name is for fucking with our judicial system.